We're expecting

our second baby that is. Due April 7th (six days after baby Doodle turns three). This pregnancy is already worse than the first in that I'm much more tired and my nauseous mornings did not disappear when I hit 12 weeks like they did last time. My back hurts earlier in the pregnancy, probably from lugging around my 31 pound toddler. I'm fatter sooner too. Today is my first day in maternity pants. I'm wearing them not because I can't squeeze my fat belly into regular pants but because when I do it's not very comfortable.

Baby Doodle is happy to say that he's going to be a big brother, we'll see how his story changes when he experiences what that actually means. He has said,
"I'm going to be a big brother and come out of your belly." And at random times, "There's a baby in my belly." When we asked him what he thought we should name the baby he said, Pancake without hesitation. So we either call it Number Two or Pancake.

We're not going to find out the sex, just as we didn't with baby Doodle.

decision made and already implemented

Baby Doodle, or rather baby Doodle's mom, is a day care drop out. I was leaning toward canning school until next year and this morning when he pitched a fit at the mention of it I made the final decision. When I reminded BD that today is a school day he started crying, acting uncooperative and whining, I don't want to go to school. I said, okay, you don't have to go to school. Maybe when you're older you can go, like when you're three. He said, yeah. Then he followed up with, I can go to school when I'm three, not when I'm two. He is right. He's still so young and I want him home with me for another year. Case closed.

my dilemma

This morning baby Doodle made his opinion about school clear. "I don't want to go to school!" He wasn't kidding. I promised him that I would stay for a little while and color and that he would have more fun at school than with me. After coloring and playing Legos for a short time I tried to leave but BD clung to me, cried and bellowed "I want to go home with you" over and over. I started tearing up and had to leave so he wouldn't see me. I cried the whole walk home.

I know if we decide to pull him out what everyone will say: he was only there three (or four) days, he would have gotten used to it and come to like it, most kids cry and are upset when they first go to day care and they all get over it. But in the meantime it is pure torture to leave my little guy knowing that he's not happy. I am not working outside our home so it is entirely feasible for him to stay with me. Granted, it would be nice to have two mornings a week when I can actually get stuff done around here, but is it worth the emotional turmoil I'm putting both of us through? My answer as of this moment is no.

guilt ridden

After abandoning baby Doodle (at his grandparents' house) for four days so Mr. D and I could go to Key West for our friend's 40th birthday celebration I brought him to school today (his second day). He was acting up before we left. I asked him what was bothering him and why he was acting so badly. He said he didn't want to go to school. I assured him that it would be fun and his friend would be there and that I would pick him up after he ate his lunch. That seemed to help. He willingly got in the car and walked without hesitation to the school entrance. I brought him to his classroom where the same two kids were crying (same as last Tuesday). Baby Doodle seemed fine. I colored a little bit with him then went to the fabric store, framing store, bank and Hair Cuttery, where I got an awful haircut.

When I picked baby Doodle up his teacher said that he was pretty sad the whole time. He cried a lot, but participated in everything while on the verge of tears. It made me so sad to hear. I paid the next month's tuition today and am already regretting it. I don't know if I can torture him like that. I'm hoping that today was a bit unusual since we had just left him for a good chunk of time and that once we're in a more regular routine he won't mind being left at school for three hours.

I hope I'm doing the right thing by keeping him there another month and a half. I guess I'll see how things go and if he still hates it in October then we'll pull him out and he can stay home with me and be happy.

On his first day of school last week.

"school"

Today is baby Doodle's first day of "school." I had to hide my teary eyes while he happily played with a Lego train at a toddler-size table. Three other kids were crying, one screaming "I want my mommy!" It seemed so barbaric to leave my two year old behind while I came home to do laundry, dishes and hem three items of clothing that have needed hemming for months. BD didn't cry, at least not while I was there. He seemed a little perplexed about the whole idea of school. He couldn't wait to leave this morning but when we got there I think he thought, what is all the big fuss about, this doesn't seem so great.

I left quietly while he was playing. I cried most of the way home, luckily I wasn't driving and was able to leave my stroller at the school so I didn't have to maneuver it down the sidewalk. I pick him up in 2.5 hours. If he seems fine with having been at school for the morning then I'll sign him up for another month, but if he hates it I'm inclined to keep him home with me until we're both more ready.

as it turns out

As it turns out the special fixin's for Mr. D's birthday dinner was a pizza from Roma Pizza and a beautiful chocolate cake with rich chocolate frosting from Roma Italian Bakery. Ironically these two establishments have the same name, are a few doors down from one another, are both known for their phenomenal fare, and are not owned by the same person.

Baby Doodle's sore on his mouth disappeared, but his butt rash continued to bother him and he woke up this morning with a red sore penis. I took him to the doctor and he does have a virus of sorts. It could be Coxsackie or something else. The doctor gave me a prescription for a topical cream to slather on him with every diaper change. Hopefully it will do the trick and baby Doodle will be back to normal (he woke up four times last night complaining that his "butt hurt"). He missed his first day of "school" yesterday and now I'm not sure if we're going to send him after September (because we've already paid for Sept.).

Happy Birthday Mr. Doodlebug

Today is Mr. Doodlebug's birthday and I feel bad that it hasn't been a more festive day. We woke up at his parents' house this morning and he opened his presents with baby Doodle's help. Then while he was in the shower I noticed a sore on BD's lip. Knowing that BD's friend had come down with Coxsackie on Saturday and knowing all the symptoms I am sure it is what he has. Great!

We watched Sesame Street, had an early lunch and Mr. D packed up the car for our trip home. When we got home he unloaded the car while I kept BD occupied. The house isn't in order. The kitchen floor is filfthy, the dining room floor has drywall dust all over it from the water damaged wall my father fixed before he left this morning, the guest room and BD's bathroom are dirty and are in desperate need of a thorough wash down. We switched to cloth diapers more than a week ago and I still don't have a good system for storing the dirty ones.

Back to poor Mr. D. We had birthday cake last night at his parents' house, but it wasn't his actual birthday. I think I'll go out and get a delicious cake from our local Italian bakery and the fixin's for a nice dinner.