pillows

I now require four pillows to sleep at night. Two for my head to keep it elevated so I can breathe through my pregnancy-induced stuffy nose. Since I have to lay on one side or the other (no back or belly sleeping when you're this pregnant) I need one pillow on either side of me. The body pillow for propping up my belly so the ligaments or muscles or whatever holds my uterus in don't hurt and for between my knees so my groin muscles don't ache. On the other side of me is Mr. Doodlebug's pillow that just goes between my knees. So I'm wedged in and whenever I switch sides it's quite ordeal.

pregnancy sucks, esp. the second time around

I'm tired of being pregnant. I compared some pictures last night and my belly is definitely bigger than it was at this point in my last pregnancy (I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow and my belly looks like it did when I was 36 weeks last time), which is to be expected for a second pregnancy. The comparison doesn't seem so bad until I think about how much longer I still have and how much bigger I'm going to get. Seven weeks is a long time when my belly keeps growing and growing. My back hurts throughout the day, especially in the morning when I get up out of my non-firm mattress. I do yoga in the morning to stretch my back but then I don't do it again until the following morning due to lack of time and motivation. The joint or cartilage or whatever is between the top of my thigh and my pelvis hurts terribly after I've been sitting or laying for a while, or after I've been walking for more than ten minutes (or running for that matter). I can't win -- sit, lay, walk -- it pretty much all exacerbates this pain.

My energy level is depleted, my mood sucks and I'm tired all the time, and the worst part is I still have seven more weeks of this! The good news is we'll have a tiny little baby in our family when it's all over, and I won't have to do this again.

just wait until April when the post-partum depression sets in

As you know we're expecting our second baby at the beginning of April and (you might not know) Mr. Doodlebug's employer gives 12 weeks of paid paternity (and maternity) leave. It was going to be a good year until Mr. D's bosses told him that he wouldn't have a job unless we moved back to DC. Even then he would be paid the same as he is here in Philly where the cost of living, specifically housing, is a lot cheaper. Moving to DC is a bad idea all around. We'd have to sell our house for much less than we paid for it three and a half years ago and buy a smaller crappier house in DC with the money. Or we could rent our house here (we have no idea how hard that might be) and rent in DC until the housing market picked up again and then sell our house. Not to mention that I really don't want to leave Philly. We've made a life here, we have friends here, baby Doodle has friends here. We're comfortable raising our kids here. God damn Mr. D's employer for forcing him out of his job in the middle of a recession (he's not being forced out for economic reasons, he's being pushed down to DC, the job itself still exists and they would be happy for him to keep it -- in DC).

In the same conversation when his bosses told him that his job was moving to DC they told him there is a job within the organization that he could have and stay in Philly, but it's not ideal. Mr. D talked to the man in charge of hiring for that job and it turns out it's not a done deal and, in fact, that job might be moving to DC too!

So, Mr. D has applied for a couple of jobs in Princeton, NJ where he would have an hour long commute each way IF he was even offered a job. Last night he mentioned Columbus, OH as a possibility since we have a friend there who he could probably work for and the cost of living is much lower than Philly so taking a loss on our house wouldn't be as big a deal -- still galling though! I really just don't want to be dealing with this and am angry that we have to.

Put this stress on top of a chronically sick toddler and a 31-week pregnancy and you've got a recipe for depression, at least for me you do.

could this be?

I don't know if you've been following our winter but there have been a couple of posts on baby Doodle's ailments. This post will be no different. He is now on his fourth, yes FOURTH, illness of the winter. We drove on the slippery, snowy, hilly streets to the pediatrician's office last night at 7:30 to find out that BD has walking pneumonia. After nearly having to abandon our car on a hill and walking the rest of the way home last night we made it to our house and Mr. Doodlebug went back out to the pharmacy to pick up BD's antibiotic. I got the most sleep last night that I've had in a while -- a stretch that lasted from about 10:00pm to 4:00am (excluding two trips to the bathroom). Baby Doodle woke up around 4:00am and asked if he could get up yet. I slept in his bed until about 6:00 when he tossed and turned, asked for water, requested a tissue until finally I asked if he wanted to get up and watch Thomas. "Do you want to get up, too, Mommy?" was his response. Wanted to? No. Would I? Yes.

I took his temperature again this morning (99.6) and gave him some more Tylenol. He doesn't get the antibiotic again until tonight.

Have I mentioned that I can't wait for the spring?