toddlerhood -- it's all it's cracked up to be

My sweet adorable baby is hitting the terrible twos a month and a half before his second birthday. Today, I tried to brush his teeth before putting him down for a nap and he threw a fit. He flailed his arms, refused to open his mouth, cried and whined. I tried a few tactics (I'm going to count to five and then I'm going to brush your teeth, After I brush your teeth you can put the toothbrush back in the holder (he loves doing that), Knock it off and let me brush your teeth (said sternly)) and when they didn't work he started hitting me. He slapped me on the face a few times. After each time he looked at me for my reaction, which was shock and anger, and then he'd laugh while I said, "No hitting! Hands are not for hitting. Do not hit. No hitting." Maybe he laughed because he thought it was funny to see my shocked expression, or because he thought it was a game, or because he's evil (I know he isn't)). Then I could not help smiling at him laughing at me. I know that my smiling ruined the disciplining and possibly made him think it really was a game. We continued in this manner for a few seconds longer. Then I brought him into our guest room and told him the same thing I told him in the bathroom, this time without a trace of a smile.

I brought him back into the bathroom to brush his teeth and he hit me again, this time I cried. It wasn't calculated to make him feel remorse. I was frustrated and angry and at a loss. He hit me a few more times while I knelt on the floor crying. He may have been hitting me then because he didn't like the way my crying was making him feel. I picked him up, changed his diaper while ignoring his pleas for me to get him this and that toy, and told him how angry I was that he was hitting me. After he was clean and dressed again he stood up and swung his arm at my face again, but I caught it and backed away so he couldn't reach me. In a disappointed and controlled voice I told him how disappointed I was that he was hitting and that I was angry and sad about it.

I put him on my lap and reiterated what I had just said. He gently put his hand on my face and stroked my cheek saying, "nice, nice." I told him how much I like it when he's nice and gentle and that I love him. I sang Old MacDonald, told him that I love him and put him in his crib for his nap. He's upstairs now, and I can take some time and get some perspective.

I thought being a zombie from lack of sleep was tough -- this is much harder.

words of wisdom

On this, my 200th post, I'm afraid I do not have words worthy of this arbitrary milestone, just some words of wisdom.
1. It is tedious to clean couscous out of your toddler's booster seat/chair so avoid giving him or her couscous if you can.

2. A wonderful drink to enjoy after you've cleaned your toddler's seat is vodka with blueberry-pomegranate Italian soda -- just think of the anti-oxidants you're getting out of that!

3. Order pizza for Valentine's Day (tomorrow) when you, a) don't have the money to go to a prix fixed dinner or b) have a toddler and no babysitter -- this option is especially efficient because you don't have to cook something separate for your picky eater, or c) both of the above, which is our case.

my book

I have received four rejections for my book so far. I'm expecting many many more and have been able to not let them get me down. Maybe I'll get a letter asking to read the entire manuscript before I'm through. And then maybe the agent will like it enough to represent it to publishers. And then maybe a publisher will want to publish it. I am on step two (step one being writing the book) of a very lengthy process and a lot of things have to fall into place to get to that final stage of publication. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

relaxation

On Saturday I cashed in my four-hour-spa-day gift card that Mr. Doodlebug gave me for my birthday. It was amazing. I had a body polish where the therapist exfoliated my entire body. Then I had a facial, not one of the ones where they squeeze your zits, but a relaxing non-painful one. I had some juice and water and waited in the lounge dressed in one of their white bathrobes and rubbery slippers. Then I was taken to a different room where I had an herbal foot treatment. What is that, you ask. Well, there was a bowl of warm water at the foot of a chair. The woman put a sack of fresh herbs into the warm water. There were fresh rose petals floating around my feet. The woman left for a few minutes and returned with a mound of epson salt on a ceramic dish. She rubbed the salt into my calves, around my toes, deep into my heels and around the tops and bottoms of my feet. Then she rinsed them and I got on the massage table for a relaxing deep tissue massage. It was a wonderful day. I left at 5:00 (I arrived at 12:30) starving, but rested. I took the bus home and read a bunch of pages from my book (Runaway by Alice Munro).

Yesterday, Mr. Doodlebug, baby Doodle and I went to Wilmington to participate in the rally for Barack Obama. There were thousands of people there. Baby Doodle was doing really well for the first two hours and then got pretty cranky about twenty minutes into the speech. We walked around with him still in ear shot of Obama. He gave his stump speech for nearly an hour (we found out on the news). It was fun to go and see him in person, even if we were quite far away. Every time the crowd clapped baby Doodle said, "people clapping for Omama."

Last night we had two of our friends over to eat nachos and other superbowl foods and watch the game. I knitted and hosted and caught a little bit of the game, the good parts -- when that Giants player was on the field when he wasn't supposed to be and when another Giants player caught a pass in the end zone and declared victory. I hear it was one of the most exciting superbowl games in history.

Anyway, it's Monday and I'm relaxed. Tonight I'm going to yoga for more relaxation.

22 months

I have to say having a toddler is more tiring than having a baby, except for those first three months when it seemed like I might never sleep through the night again. Baby Doodle is active and into everything and often wants me to accompany him in playing trains, reading books or playing with his shapes. I guess that's the down side to only having one kid. Maybe it's because we (as a family) have been sick most of the winter (BD and I have runny noses now), or maybe it's because I've reached the old age of 30, but I have been so tired lately -- and I'm not even pregnant. I can't imagine how tired I'm going to feel when I am.

So, back to baby Doodle, the older he gets and the more he's around other kids the more obvious it is to me how sweet and wonderful he is. Yesterday, a friend and her son (we'll call him Jack), who is two and a half, came over to visit. It may be the age, and maybe BD will be like this when he's two and a half, but Jack would take toys away from BD and BD would say "Baby Doodle's turn." Jack wouldn't return the toy without prompting by an adult -- to be expected. When Baby Doodle got the toy back he played with it for a few seconds and then handed it back to Jack and said, "Jack's turn." He's really good at sharing. He understands the concept, embraces it and practices it. I hope he doesn't lose his sweetness as he gets older. That said, right now he's pulling mounds of toilet paper off the roll, bringing it to me and saying, "Oh no" while he laughs hysterically.

He understands the general rules of our language. He pluralizes words when there is more than one, and sometimes he adds an -es to words that only require an -s. He refers to himself as I now, but still uses baby Doodle a lot too, especially when he wants to say me. "Mommy come play trains with baby Doodle." Sometimes he calls himself you. "Mommy carry you." He can recite some of the alphabet. Most often he leaves out F, H, I, J, L, N, Q and R. But when he says them he always says them in the correct order even though he skips some.

He requests books he wants me or Mr. D to read to him by name, "Daddy read Dinosaurumpus, Mommy read Sheep in Jeep." He knows his shapes so well he now jokes around when he's playing with the shape sorter, saying, "star in circle hole" while he laughs. When I sing Old MacDonald he fills in the animal and the sounds that he wants. He can correctly identify when Josh Ritter is playing and requests, "more Josh Ritter" when a song ends. He's opinionated about what he wants to wear. His favorite thing is his baseball sweater, but he can be persuaded to wear other clothes if I point out something unique and cool about it. Today, he's wearing the green sweater I made him with the bear buttons -- those are the draw.

He's into his independence these days. He wants to "do it by self." He walks up and down the stairs "by self" even when I'm in a rush to get somewhere. He likes to brush his own teeth and hair. He likes to put things back where he found them. He puts the phone back on the cradle and his toys in their place. Recently, he has been throwing things down the stairs from the second to the first floor. Sometimes he stops when I ask him, but most of the time he looks right at me and throws it anyway. Today, he didn't throw my sneaker downstairs when I asked him. I praised him and hugged him for listening.

He can recite entire pages in his books, not short pages either. He still goes to bed smoothly and without incident every night whether we're at home or away. He's incredibly sweet, giving hugs and kisses to our friends when they leave often requesting numerous hugs. I know he won't always be this sweet, like when he's sixteen, but I will always have these memories to think of when he's sneaking out to drink with his friends.