My thoughts on Disney World

We took the kids to Florida last week to spend a vacation with my in-laws at their time share resort, which had a mini-water park at it.  We spent two days at Disney World's Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom, respectively.  We also went to Sea World.  (My thoughts on animals forced to do tricks for our amusement later.)  We went to two Phillies spring training games (one against the Blue Jays and one against the Yankees, they lost both (10-1 and 5-3, respectively)).  We also went to a state park and canoed with my uncle and his girlfriend one day, which was by far the most relaxing of the days.  But back to Disney.

As an adult and someone who rarely watches commercials any more I had forgotten how gross the advertising to children is.  At some point some advertising agency figured out that if they appeal to children's psyches they'll bug their parents enough to make the moms and dads buy whatever they're selling for their nagging children.  I don't know if this has always been the case, but I am guessing it's been going on for generations, however I do think that the height to which it has reached is higher than ever.  I had never been to Disney World (my father defensively informed me that we had tried to go one year over Christmas break when we were in Florida visiting his brother and family, but they had reached capacity and we were not allowed to enter).  For anyone who hasn't been there the complex is enormous.  The parking lot is far enough away from Magic Kingdom's entrance that you have to take two trains to get there.  Once inside there are characters abound, a long line to wait in first, but characters none-the-less.  Doodle and I waited in line to meet Pluto for only about 15 minutes.

Pancake, Grammy and I waited for 35 minutes (at least that's what the sign said when we first got in line) to meet Sleeping Beauty, Belle and Cinderella.  Pancake was overjoyed and excited.  She was in complete awe.  It was pretty incredible to watch her.  I was glad that she was so happy but knew that this was the beginning of the end of my half-hearted attempt to not have my daughter be princess crazy.  She is indeed princess crazed now.  We were at a store today and there were gift bags with varying combinations of princesses on them.  She has always noticed these types of items, but they have a whole new meaning for her now.  She wants princess dresses for her birthday.  She wants a princess cake.  Now that we have exposed her to the ultimate princess extravaganza at Disney World we can't say no to her requests for birthday gifts and cakes.  I could make a generic princess cake, but I know she will either be upset that it's not a specific princess or she'll pretend that it is one.  My only hope at this point is that it's a phase that doesn't last long.

In the car on the way to Disney Doodle was throwing a fit about having to go there because Pancake was wearing a Cinderella dress (given to her by Mr. D's aunt the night before) and was so worked up about seeing princesses that Doodle was convinced that the whole thing was "for girls," even after we informed him that there were fun rides and lots of cool things "for boys."  He was being really mean to Pancake, telling her that she looked dumb in her dress and that Disney was stupid.  We scolded him but the damage was done.  I felt bad for Pancake and didn't want her day to be ruined because of her brother.  Of course, Doodle had a fantastic time on Splash Mountain and the Pirates of the Caribbean rides and driving a race car around a track and everything else he did.

Given what we had all witnessed in the car on the way to the park I was especially emotional when Pancake was given such attention from the princesses both during parades and at the meet-and-greet.  We were caught by surprise when a parade with all the princesses and other Disney characters went by while we were on our way to another attraction.  Belle and Cinderella and literally every other character looked at Pancake from their floats and mouthed hi or happy birthday (she was wearing a birthday button) and blew her kisses, which she happily caught and returned a kiss of her own to them.  It truly was an enchanting experience.  She was completely drawn in, and so was I.  The difference is, as an adult, I don't care about buying princess memorabilia.  Though I was impressed by the parade and thrilled with how special Pancake felt I am able to break the trance the second I walk away, but Pancake's young mind has been impressed upon forever, or at least for many years to come.  Though we will not be buying everything she asks for, we will buy her princess marked things for as long as this phase lasts, and thanks to our bringing her to Disney, I'm afraid it will last a while.

I'm not sorry that we went, it was worth it to see her excitement and wonder and awe, I just wish there wasn't a hidden agenda. 

Animal Kingdom, by the way, was much more worth the ticket price.  We saw three shows (It's Tough to be a Bug, which was a short 3-D film; The Lion King, which was a musical with both animatronic animals and real people singing and doing acrobatics; and Finding Nemo, which was like a mini Broadway show with incredible sets, props and puppets).  Those shows alone were worth the price.  There were also rides and a safari where we saw animals roaming free in the reserve (lions, elephants, antelope, crocodiles, giraffes, warthogs, etc. . .).  We also saw a pretty cool parade, very different from the two we saw at Magic Kingdom.

I would write more about the rest of our trip, but Pancake is bugging me to get her a snack.  So I'll leave it here for now.

Trouble on the homefront

Doodle is so hot and cold.  Some days he's a little prince, behaving, listening, being amenable.  Some days I don't know how I manage to keep it together, and sometimes I don't.  Today he was frozen.  I picked him up from school at 12:20 (he had a half day for parent-teacher conferences (mine is on Friday)) and asked him if he had to go to the bathroom before we left because we were heading straight to the Franklin Institute for some fine afternoon fun and learning.  He said he didn't want to go and I said that it would be fun and that there would still be time to work on his basketball team project.

He has been creating mascots and symbols for imaginary basketball teams.  Mr. D told him that there are 340 college basketball teams so he is determined to make up 340 of his own basketball teams.  When Doodle sets his mind to something he doesn't often let it go.  I knew when I told him that we were going to the Franklin Institute that he would want to work on the teams so I made it clear that there would be time for both.  I also said that since he and his sister couldn't stop fighting this morning (mostly Doodle antagonizing and hitting Pancake) that I didn't want them home all day arguing.  We left Doodle's classroom and as soon as we were out of his teacher's sight he threw down his bag, crumpled up his art work and threw that down too.   He left them both on the stairs leading out of the playground.  I picked up the paper so it wouldn't blow away and litter the yard but left his back pack there.  I proceeded to the car with Pancake.  Doodle went back and picked up the bag and slowly, very slowly made his way to the car. 

In the car he started screaming that he didn't want to go.  Not just ordinary screaming, if such a thing exists, but anger-infused, burning-the-throat, tears-in-the-eyes screaming.  I thought for a moment that I would just bring him home and deal with whatever the afternoon brings, but Doodle's tantrum escalated quickly and I was not about to let him get his way by acting like a wild animal.  During the 20-minute car ride to center city he screamed for 20 minutes, took off his socks and shoes and threw them at me, removed the canvas sorter from the back of the passenger seat and threw that to the front of the car.  I calmly told him that if another thing was thrown I was stopping the car and he was going to have to get out and stand on the side of the road in his bare feet.  He screamed that he wanted a granola bar, because Pancake had one.  I said when he calmed down and asked nicely I would gladly give him one.  He didn't calm down. 

Pancake started crying because Doodle was scaring him.  I reassured her that he was having a tantrum and that it was okay. 

We found a free parking spot and I unbuckled the kids.  Pancake was in the stroller and Doodle was standing on the side of the car in his bare feet and no coat.  I acted like we were walking across the street and heading to the museum.  Finally, the first sign of acquiesence, Doodle asked me, without growling, to put on his socks and shoes.  He walked the two blocks whining and half crying without a coat (it's in the 40s today).  People looked at us, luckily no one said anything snide to me about how I'm torturing my child.

We got to the museum and Doodle claimed that he was going to spend the whole time on the floor.  I told him we would stay there for three hours if he just sat there.  We would spend an hour and a half if he got up and explored.  He peeled himself off the floor and walked 15 feet behind us.  First we went to the sports room.  Doodle's mood changed and he had a great time throwing the baseball at 33 miles per hour.  He did the other activities in the sports room and then joyfully played in two other rooms.  He had a wonderful time.  I didn't give in and let him have his way, but I still feel so crappy about the whole experience. 

Now we're home and Doodle has made three more team logos.  That's where he stopped.  Now he's reading a book.   Oh wait, he just asked me to get him more paper.  Maybe he's not finished yet. 

 Doodle is a lot like me.  I have a hard time switching gears when I have an idea of what I want to do.  I'm getting better, but I know where Doodle gets it.  He didn't go to the Phillies opening day game on his 5th birthday because we gave him the tickets the morning of his birthday before school and it is not how he was planning to spend his day.  We tried to convince him that he would have fun, that there would still be time to do the other things he had planned in his head, but we couldn't.  He made it clear that he didn't wan to go and it was his birthday so we didn't make him.  We sold the tickets on Stub Hub and watched the game at home.   He's not good at going with the flow and I have had to get better becasue I have children and curve balls are being thrown at me every day.  I hope Doodle can overcome his rigidness before he has kids.  He'll be much happier that way.

Conversation with Doodle

Doodle's teacher told him about how Philadelphia was the capital of the U.S. before Washington, DC so on the way home from the bus I continued the lesson by telling him that when George Washington was president Philadelphia was the capital.  He lived here and Congress met here.  Then Doodle asked me if there have been any girl presidents.  I said, No!  Can you believe that?  There has never been a woman president.  He was genuinely surprised and said, There have been 44 presidents and none of them were girls?!?  That's right, I replied.  But, a woman ran for president the last time around, Hillary Clinton, but she didn't get the nomination because she didn't get enough votes, and Barack Obama became our president.  I asked if he knew what being African American meant and he said it's people who are from Africa and took a boat to the United States.  I clarified and amended his definition and then went on to tell him that President Obama is the first African American president of the U.S.  Doodle replied, "So, if we had a girl or an African American, either way it's pretty cool, because they both would have been first." 

So proud of my bud. 

Potty Training

I hate potty training.  I would rather change dirty, smelly diapers than have to spend an hour putting my kid to bed for her nap.  Both because Pancake gets a mini marshmallow every time she uses the potty and because she doesn't want to lay down and sleep she continually gets out of her bed claiming she has to poop.  Twice now I have gone upstairs, taken off her diaper and pulled down her pants just to have her sit there -- maybe a tiny stream of pee makes its way to the plastic bowl -- without so much as a fart. 

She has bunk beds in her room, and I put her to bed in the bottom bunk twice a day (nap and night time) and twice a day she gets up and either claims she has to use the potty or wanders around the second floor looking for Doodle's toys to play with while he's at school.  Then she sleeps in the Pack 'n Play in the corner of her room, twice a day.

Her room really isn't big enough for the portable crib and the bunk beds, but I refuse to lay with her every night until she falls asleep, so Pack 'n Play it is.

On a positive note, she is doing quite well at using the potty.  She even went to a store bathroom when we were out this morning.  I hope it's just the novelty of going in a potty that is making her want to go so often and that it will pass. 

Mummers Parade today

Christmas

Santa knew what he was getting into when he brought Doodle a drum set -- it will be kept in the basement as soon as I can clear out a suitable space.  Doodle also received a Wii, with which he is obsessed.  We've already placed some limits on him and they will get more strict when this vacation is over.  Pancake was given Angelina Ballerina in all of her stupendous forms (game, hugely stuffed, with various clothes to dress, book, DVD).  Pancake was also given a ticket to see the Nutcracker with Mr. D, Grammy, Grandma and me.  She loved it.  She was in awe, staring with big eyes at every ballet dancer and their costumes. 

Santa is sitting on an ice chair!

Watching the light show at Macy's in Center City.

At The Nutcracker at the Academy of Music.

My trip to Charlotte

Back in October Mr. D gave me a round trip plane ticket to Charlotte to visit a dear friend of mine who I had not seen in more than five years.  The trip was for the first weekend in December, which was good because I had a herniated disc in my back in October and was still recovering in November.  More on the excruciating back pain and resulting sciatica (which I still have) later.

My trip to Charlotte offered much needed refuge for my spirit.  In October a recipe for depression had been brewing for a few days until the demons were fully cooked and ready to take over what thriving spirit I had left.  The recipe: Being incapacitated or in constant pain for weeks.  Add to that, a stressful and emotional interaction with a different good friend -- we haven't spoken since. 

I arrived in Charlotte on Friday evening and was cheerfully greeted by L.  It was the strangest experience traveling without my children.  There were no hands to hold, no one to keep an eye on while managing three other things, no one to ask to go to the bathroom.  I only had to care for myself -- how odd.  L took me to her beautiful new house and gave me the tour before she treated me to a delicious meal at her favorite local restaurant.  We talked and talked.  I told her about my recent hurtful experience with my friend.  She told me about the problems her family has had with her younger brother.  We went back to her place and visited with her husband, M, before going to sleep.  I had the second floor to myself -- very comfortable four-poster bed, cozy bedding and a beautifully renovated bathroom.

The next day was relaxing.  L took me for a long walk around her neighborhood, showing me M and her office spaces, stopping for lunch and talking, always talking.  I told her about some of the issues we've been having with Doodle.  She told me about her relationship with her parents, specifically her mother, and her decision to try to have a baby.

We took a quick trip to the store to get some items for the party L was throwing that night so I could meet some of her friends.  On the way to the store I re-introduced Josh Ritter to her, I know she'll be eternally grateful!  When we got home we relaxed on the sofa and watched a very bad, girly movie -- just what I wanted.  L prepared some things for the party and let me watch the must-see ending -- I don't say that sarcastically.  Her first guest had arrived and I could barely pull myself away to run upstairs and throw on a skirt and some make up.

L's friends were fabulous -- full of life and self worth.  They so warmly welcomed me into their circle for the evening.  Two of them were massage therapists and when I told them what had happened to my back they used my body to practice their incredible craft -- both of them working at the same time.  At first I was standing in the kitchen but then they had me move to the living room floor where one was at my head and upper back and the other was at my feet and legs.  They worked their warm hands deeply through my muscles and tendons and cells.  When they were finished working their magic M played the didgeridoo over me.  Its vibrations sunk into me -- I was at peace.  I lay motionless for a time while L's friends made their way back to the kitchen.

M DJ'ed the rest of the night and we danced without inhibition. 

The next day was Sunday, the day I returned to my normal life.  L and I went for another walk and talked some more, with a friend like L there are always things to talk about and fun to have.  I wasn't away long enough to really miss Doodle and Pancake and Mr. D, but I was really glad to see their smiling faces when they met me at the airport.  I needed that trip and vowed to make it a yearly occurrence.