Baby doodle explores his play gym

He doesn't like the flash.

Tony Snow

Is it any surprise that Bush chose Fox News TV and Radio host Tony Snow to be the new WH press secretary? At least it wasn't Brit Hume.

Bush said when announcing Tony's new position, "My job is to make decisions. And his job is to help explain those decisions to the press corps and the American people." This should be pretty easy for Tony since that's what he's been doing on Fox News for years.

My rating of Bush press secretaries:
1. Scott McClellan
2. Ari Fleischer (who lived just blocks from us in DC)
3. Anyone else
4. Tony Snow

helpless or genius?

Sometimes Baby Doodle's helplessness is overwhelming because he relies on me mostly, and Mr. Doodlebug somewhat, for his every need and want. He can't feed, change, dress or burp himself, but he sure knows how to get someone to do all of that for him -- genius. He has the crying thing down. Cry when you want milk, cry when you want a clean, dry diaper, cry when you're overtired, cry when you have gas to get someone to help you get it out. Most of the crying lately though has been because he wants to be held.

This morning I put him in his swing and he was happy for the amount of time it took me to put cereal in a bowl and eat most of it. Then he started crying to be held. I now have him in his carrier which he likes because I'm practically holding him. This brings me to another observation I've made. He likes to be bounced, that has been clear since he was born, but he can distinguish between being bounced and swayed while I'm sitting and being bounced and swayed while I'm standing. He prefers the standing of course. In fact, I am typing this standing up. His comfort level with the carrier only lasts so long sitting. Once he's calm or sleeping I'll sit down again until he realizes it, then I'll have to stand. It's amazing to me that he can distinguish between the two positions because the swaying and bouncing isn't that different -- genius. As Harry said he's "high maintenance," he knows what he wants and exactly how he wants it.

I guess it's not helpless or genius, but helpless and a genius.

Free Cone Day

Today is free cone day at Ben & Jerry's. Baby Doodle and I plan to partake.

















Baby Doodle is skeptical that he will get any of this free ice cream.

Before and After

38 weeks pregnant
















3 weeks after giving birth

baby Doodle redeems himself

Last night and today, thus far, baby Doodle has been a joy. It is amazing how different one day can be from the next. Last night baby Doodle slept in his co-sleeper (crib attached to my side of the bed) for 3 and 4 hours at a time. He even went happily into the co-sleeper before he was sound asleep. He laid there for about 20 minutes "talking" to himself and looking around before he fell asleep.

After his feedings today he has burped without getting upset and seems not to have baby heart burn, at least today. I would like to think that this is the beginning of a more mature phase that he has begun but I know tonight could be just as bad as Friday night when he didn't sleep for more than an hour and a half at a time.

When I get a "good" night of sleep I feel so much better emotionally than when I don't. If only baby Doodle could routinely sleep for long periods of time at night, I would be consistently happy.

colic?

When your baby is either sleeping, screaming or eating, does he have colic? Baby Doodle has taken to skipping the little whimpers and mild crying sounds and going straight to the toe curling screams whenever he is awake and not on my breast. This means he cries for at least 4 hours a day. He is calmable but it takes a while to take him down from the frenzy he works himself into, and then it takes even longer to get him to sleep. He does respond to music and dancing, especially to Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Drive My Car, Back in the USSR and Baby Beluga (which one of these is not like the others?).

Last night he screamed from 11:30 pm to 1:00 am, when he finally fell asleep. Then he was up at 2:30 am to eat again, and the cycle was repeated. I had gotten about 2 hours of sleep when he woke up at 6:30 am for his first breakfast. Mr. Doodlebug took him downstairs so I could sleep some. He had his second breakfast at 8:30 am then I went back to sleep until 11:00 am. When Mr. Doodlebug is not here it will be impossible for me to get sleep in the mornings the way I did today.

At first we thought Baby Doodle had heartburn because last night he seemed to scream and cry after he burped. But this morning he has burped a number of times after his numerous feedings and did not start to cry until at least a half hour later.

It's depressing and disheartening when he screams and carries on because it seems that he has such a sad existence. He doesn't seem happy unless he's eating or sleeping. It would be nice if he spent some of the day awake and content, but those moments are fleeting and few. "They" say colic usually starts around 2 weeks and doesn't subside until about 3 months. Baby Doodle is 3 weeks old today, and three months seems like a lifetime from now, especially when it seems like he's been here for three years already.

I can only hope that he will outgrow his colic sooner than July.















Just about to eat and therefore not crying.

Baby Doodle's first Easter

Baby Doodle can't wait to eat the Easter cake.

With his Easter basket. He'll get the candy through my milk.

post partum blues

I knew I would be susceptible to the post partum blues because of my personality and a few short-lived bouts with depression over the years. I also knew that my life would never be the same after having a baby, but I didn't realize that my life would no longer be my own, or at least feel like my own. It's discouraging to wake up in the morning after a refreshing three hours of sleep and begin the new day feeling down. Baby Doodle has taken to crying and fussing at night whether he's well-fed and dry or not. Last night he bit down on my nipple with all the strength in his jaw. I started crying, not from the intense pain, but as a result of my frustrated and tired state. I have probably cried every day since Baby Doodle arrived almost two weeks ago.

Sometimes I feel frustrated because the house isn't as orderly and neat as I would like it. But most of the time my stress stems from feeling like nothing but a milk machine. I believe that I have successfully isolated my negative thoughts and feelings so as not to blame Baby Doodle, but rather the current situation that I know, intellectually, will improve with time. I tell Baby Doodle how much I love him and how cute he is, and I kiss him a lot. I hope he doesn't sense my frustration with motherhood.

To add to my hormonal rollercoaster I have felt disconnected to Mr. Doodlebug, though I don't know what I would do without him. My mind and energy are spent on tending to the baby first, making up for lost sleep second, and attempting to feel normal by getting out of the house at least once each day.

12-day old baby Doodle

Mr. Doodlebug and a baby lump.

Mr. Doodlebug

Baby Doodle slept for four whole hours last night! though he/we didn't fall asleep until 1:00am. I hope his four hour spurt is part of a trend and not just a fluke.

Mr. Doodlebug goes back to work on Monday (today is Wed), and I'm dreading it. He has become a house husband overnight. I hadn't thought about how he would handle all the household tasks once the baby arrived, but he has exceeded any expectations I would have had. He makes us lunch and dinner; does the dishes (both hand washing and loading and unloading the dish washer); does the laundry, including folding it; runs to the store; even checks my email. He also takes baby Doodle in the mornings so I can get an extra hour or two of sleep. I have noted how much work it is to care for a newborn. I can not imagine forging this "adventure" (for lack of a better word) alone or with minimal help.

Baby Doodle can lift his head off my shoulder and hold it there for a few seconds before it comes crashing down. He also looks intently at either my or Mr. D's face, and can follow a toy with his eyes and head. It's amazing to see progress so soon after his birth. I know it will be fun to witness and be part of his cognitive and physical growth as time goes on.

Learning curve

I have known that being a mother is a lot of work and that babies, especially infants, are very demanding, but you really don't know how much work and how demanding motherhood is until you do it. I am still feeling overwhelmed by the number of times baby Doodle eats each day, how long it takes him to eat at each feeding, and how many diapers and outfits he goes through in one day. I know that our schedule will get better and that I won't feel as overwhelmed as time goes by, but it's hard in the interim.

I am lucky that baby Doodle is healthy and so damn cute. And I am extremely fortunate to have had my mother and Mr. Doodlebug home with me this whole first week. Mother Doodlebug went home this morning and Mr. Doodlebug has the next week off, too. I also have wonderfully supportive friends both nearby and far away.

Some positive things about being baby Doodle's mother: I love the cute whiny hyperventillating sound he makes when he's really hungry and hasn't quite latched on yet; I love how he looks like he's smiling when he has gas and when I sing this one song to him; and I love how he stares at me for long periods of time without fussing. I have a mellow baby, at least for now. I am getting better already at feeding baby Doodle. He is noshing on my right breast as I type this post. In fact, I have to switch breasts now; he's gone a whole 20 mins on one side.

Some more pics of my adorable little Doodle:
































Baby Doodle with his grandma.
















With his uncle.

I'm glad I'm breast feeding but...

Does anyone who breast feeds actually get their baby to latch on properly from the get go? The latching on problem has caused my nipples to be tender and sore, and it makes having to feed baby Doodle that much more of a dreadful experience. Because my little guy was born on a Saturday there were no lactation consultants at the hospital for almost my entire stay meaning that Mr. Doodlebug, my mother, the nurses and I were trying to figure out how best to get him to stay on my breast. When I finally did get to see a lactation consultant my nipples were already sore, I was extremely frustrated and it turned out the advice the nurses were giving me was the exact wrong thing to do.

I think it was the 3rd day of baby Doodle's life when he decided my right breast was too engorged for him to eat from it which made it more engorged. I hand expressed and pumped some collastrum (at that point my milk hadn't come in) but it didn't seem to help the growing boulder that was taking over my chest. I made an appointment at the Breast Feeding Resource Center for the following morning and got to spend more than hour with a consultant there who helped me tremendously. Thank God for that center. Things have been going pretty smoothly since then (Wed - today is Fri.). My nipples are still sore but baby Doodle is latching on much more efficiently now. I feed him for about 10 mins on each breast. It was taking longer before my milk came in, but now he gets fuller faster. I hope his appetite doesn't increase that much.

Last night was a bit rough, I mean rougher than the other nights. He ate every 2 hours -- and that is not from finish to start, that's from start to start. The "eating every 2 hours" thing is so deceiving. He's really eating every hour to hour and a half.

On a positive note, I know that breast milk is the best thing for the baby and it's making me look like a super model, well, a super model who just gave birth 6 days ago.

Baby Doodle is looking cuter every day. At this rate he'll be a super model by age 3.

Girlfiend wrote an excellent post on her blog on breast feeding.

A happy, sleep-deprived family

It's a Boy!

Our little son was born on April 1, 2006 at 2:56pm. He weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and is 21 1/2 inches long.