Trouble on the homefront

Doodle is so hot and cold.  Some days he's a little prince, behaving, listening, being amenable.  Some days I don't know how I manage to keep it together, and sometimes I don't.  Today he was frozen.  I picked him up from school at 12:20 (he had a half day for parent-teacher conferences (mine is on Friday)) and asked him if he had to go to the bathroom before we left because we were heading straight to the Franklin Institute for some fine afternoon fun and learning.  He said he didn't want to go and I said that it would be fun and that there would still be time to work on his basketball team project.

He has been creating mascots and symbols for imaginary basketball teams.  Mr. D told him that there are 340 college basketball teams so he is determined to make up 340 of his own basketball teams.  When Doodle sets his mind to something he doesn't often let it go.  I knew when I told him that we were going to the Franklin Institute that he would want to work on the teams so I made it clear that there would be time for both.  I also said that since he and his sister couldn't stop fighting this morning (mostly Doodle antagonizing and hitting Pancake) that I didn't want them home all day arguing.  We left Doodle's classroom and as soon as we were out of his teacher's sight he threw down his bag, crumpled up his art work and threw that down too.   He left them both on the stairs leading out of the playground.  I picked up the paper so it wouldn't blow away and litter the yard but left his back pack there.  I proceeded to the car with Pancake.  Doodle went back and picked up the bag and slowly, very slowly made his way to the car. 

In the car he started screaming that he didn't want to go.  Not just ordinary screaming, if such a thing exists, but anger-infused, burning-the-throat, tears-in-the-eyes screaming.  I thought for a moment that I would just bring him home and deal with whatever the afternoon brings, but Doodle's tantrum escalated quickly and I was not about to let him get his way by acting like a wild animal.  During the 20-minute car ride to center city he screamed for 20 minutes, took off his socks and shoes and threw them at me, removed the canvas sorter from the back of the passenger seat and threw that to the front of the car.  I calmly told him that if another thing was thrown I was stopping the car and he was going to have to get out and stand on the side of the road in his bare feet.  He screamed that he wanted a granola bar, because Pancake had one.  I said when he calmed down and asked nicely I would gladly give him one.  He didn't calm down. 

Pancake started crying because Doodle was scaring him.  I reassured her that he was having a tantrum and that it was okay. 

We found a free parking spot and I unbuckled the kids.  Pancake was in the stroller and Doodle was standing on the side of the car in his bare feet and no coat.  I acted like we were walking across the street and heading to the museum.  Finally, the first sign of acquiesence, Doodle asked me, without growling, to put on his socks and shoes.  He walked the two blocks whining and half crying without a coat (it's in the 40s today).  People looked at us, luckily no one said anything snide to me about how I'm torturing my child.

We got to the museum and Doodle claimed that he was going to spend the whole time on the floor.  I told him we would stay there for three hours if he just sat there.  We would spend an hour and a half if he got up and explored.  He peeled himself off the floor and walked 15 feet behind us.  First we went to the sports room.  Doodle's mood changed and he had a great time throwing the baseball at 33 miles per hour.  He did the other activities in the sports room and then joyfully played in two other rooms.  He had a wonderful time.  I didn't give in and let him have his way, but I still feel so crappy about the whole experience. 

Now we're home and Doodle has made three more team logos.  That's where he stopped.  Now he's reading a book.   Oh wait, he just asked me to get him more paper.  Maybe he's not finished yet. 

 Doodle is a lot like me.  I have a hard time switching gears when I have an idea of what I want to do.  I'm getting better, but I know where Doodle gets it.  He didn't go to the Phillies opening day game on his 5th birthday because we gave him the tickets the morning of his birthday before school and it is not how he was planning to spend his day.  We tried to convince him that he would have fun, that there would still be time to do the other things he had planned in his head, but we couldn't.  He made it clear that he didn't wan to go and it was his birthday so we didn't make him.  We sold the tickets on Stub Hub and watched the game at home.   He's not good at going with the flow and I have had to get better becasue I have children and curve balls are being thrown at me every day.  I hope Doodle can overcome his rigidness before he has kids.  He'll be much happier that way.

Conversation with Doodle

Doodle's teacher told him about how Philadelphia was the capital of the U.S. before Washington, DC so on the way home from the bus I continued the lesson by telling him that when George Washington was president Philadelphia was the capital.  He lived here and Congress met here.  Then Doodle asked me if there have been any girl presidents.  I said, No!  Can you believe that?  There has never been a woman president.  He was genuinely surprised and said, There have been 44 presidents and none of them were girls?!?  That's right, I replied.  But, a woman ran for president the last time around, Hillary Clinton, but she didn't get the nomination because she didn't get enough votes, and Barack Obama became our president.  I asked if he knew what being African American meant and he said it's people who are from Africa and took a boat to the United States.  I clarified and amended his definition and then went on to tell him that President Obama is the first African American president of the U.S.  Doodle replied, "So, if we had a girl or an African American, either way it's pretty cool, because they both would have been first." 

So proud of my bud.