a brand new tractor

At nearly four and a half, Doodle has finally given up his pacifier! The exclamation point is both to express excitement that Doodle is pacifier-free AND to express disbelief that our 4 1/2-year old was still using a pacifier.

He got to pick out any toy he wanted and he chose a John Deere bright shiny green tractor. He loves it and he's been sleeping fine without it.

FINALLY!

Blue

I have reached a place (the same place I was when Doodle was the same age as Pancake) where I am tired, bored or depressed 95% of the time. My psyche is just not into parenting these days. I'm perpetually tired. I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment, but alas, Doodle doesn't nap any more so taking a nap of my own is out of the question. Yesterday, I was driving home from the store and Pancake was very tired. I thought for sure that she would fall asleep in the car and take a much needed cat nap before dinner, but I was the one who felt like sleeping. She and Doodle laughed and played in the back seat. I called Mr. D and he met us at our local Mexican restaurant for an early dinner since Pancake wasn't going to sleep.

I am also sick of doing the same activities with my kids day after day, week after week. I really don't feel like playing Candy Land or Thomas Uno or Play-Doh any more. This week we went to the zoo, for the fourth or fifth time this summer, which doesn't sound like a lot, but when I think about what needs to be done for a trip to the zoo it makes me not want to go. I have to pack lunches for the kids (I usually don't bother with one for me because that's just more things I have to do), waters for the three of us, sunscreen the children, remember the back pack carrier so Pancake can see the animals without getting in and out of the stroller, and still try to get there relatively early so we don't have to park super far away and end up walking in the hot, sticky sun. I think because I'm also tired and depressed the thought of loading everything up for a two-hour trip to the zoo is too daunting.

The blues I have are most likely directly related to the first two problems. The tired-bored-depressed combination is a bad one. And I don't really see an end in sight. I'm not ready to go back to work with Pancake still so young and even if I wanted to do I have no idea what I would do. One would think that Doodle starting pre-K next month (5 days/week until 12:00) would offer some relief, but getting him to school by 8:30 and caring for Pancake and trying to keep up my morning yoga-running routine is stressful. And while Doodle is at school Pancake will be home with me not napping (she takes one nap in the afternoon), and Pancake is the one who is more demanding of the two. She plays by herself, but only for short periods. Then we'll pick up
Doodle from school and Pancake will take a nap. Maybe I'll get Doodle into an afternoon TV-watching habit rather than in the morning.

Story by Doodle

Ball and this boy can play together nicely. Then a pile of snakes came along and stopped the game and messed it up. Then a line of rhinos came along and put their feet on the snakes. The End.