night with Doodle

With school out for the summer Doodle is demanding more and more attention from me and becoming more jealous of Pancake.  Tonight he went from bad to worse and ended up in time out during dinner for continually putting his feet on the table after being told not to.  While in time out he destroyed his room, which is his MO.  I warned him that what ever he messed up he would have to clean before bed which meant no time to play with Mr. D before bed.  Still, he made his room look as if an elephant had walked through with his trunk flailing.  I had to remove the two framed pieces of his art work for fear that he would throw them against the wall. 

When his tantrum was over I told him he had to get in the bath.  Another tantrum ensued.  He ended up in the bath, I cleaned him, then he refused to get out of the bath.  Mr. D had to remove his uncooperative body from the tub.  He was warned that there was going to be no playing with me or Mr. D until his room was clean even if it meant no play time for a week.  That woke up his good sense and he started to acquiesce.  Mr. D and I agreed to help him clean as long as he was doing most of the work.  He found a book that he had forgotten he had and wanted Mr. D to read it while Doodle and I cleaned.  Every time Doodle stopped cleaning Mr. D stopped reading and I stopped loading the books on the shelf. 

He is now falling asleep in his bed in a clean room with an empty belly.  I hate nights like tonight.  It makes me feel like we're not doing a good job with him, that he's ungrateful and only behaves when we're doing something he wants to do.  He's selfish and has a temper that he has difficulty controlling.  I don't know how to help him control his temper.  I don't know how to help him be less selfish.  I feel at a loss.  I yelled quite loudly and abruptly at him when he wouldn't get out of the bath and then said to Mr. D, within ear shot of Doodle, but not in the same room, "I won't take his f***ing sh*t any more." 

Crappy, crappy night.  Parenting is hard.  I feel like my entire life is spent doing things that other people, particularly the kids, want to do.  I'm trapped in this life for now and sometimes it sucks.