leaving the house

I don't know why I leave the house at all. After Doodle's third day of school today I picked him up in the car and we went to get ice cream sundaes. That is where the fun ended. We went from there to Ikea to return some curtains and recycle our old batteries and light bulb. It turns out Ikea isn't taking batteries any more and we had a ton of them. Then we waited on a line of four people to return the curtains. It turns out we were behind the three most complicated returns/exchanges in the history of retail. After about twenty minutes Doodle starts acting like he has to go to the bathroom. I ask him, he says no. We were next in line so I believed him that he didn't have to go. Then, he comes over and asks if he has a diaper on. Translation: I have to poop and want to do it in a diaper rather than use the toilet. Of course I didn't have any diapers (that fit him) with me so I held out hope that he would be able to hold it until I could get my two minutes with the clerk. Even if I had brought him to a bathroom he would have refused to go. So, needless to say he pooped in his underwear and I was now at the clerk's desk very annoyed that they made me wait that long. Blaming them for my son's inability to be potty trained -- he does pee in the potty.

Speaking of which, when we got out the parking lot I changed him next to the car. Put clean underwear and shorts on him. Then while he stood there bottomless he says he has to pee. I let him pee onto the pavement between our car and the car next to us. While I was distracted with figuring out where to put his soiled clothing he proceeds to walk in his pee with his socks on. I took those off, wiped his feet with a wipe and put his sneakers back on. By this time Pancake is hungry again (she ate applesauce at the ice cream store). We went back inside Ikea where Doodle watched a mesmorizing video of sea life and I fed Pancake. She spat up on me and the leather couch we were sitting on. I wiped the couch with my skirt which was already wet with half-digested milk. Pancake then pooped. I changed her in the car in the parking lot. We still had one more stop to make, luckily it was in the same location and didn't take that long. Now, we're home and Doodle is in his room "resting" with a diaper on. Pancake is jonesing for some more milk and I'm completely run down. I really should only go out alone after Mr. D returns from work.