depressed? anxious? guilty? all of the above

Five and a half weeks of sleepless nights is leaving me exhausted, drained, illogical, unable to think clearly, cranky and bitchy. I feel guilty for not spending more time with baby Doodle, awful for treating Mr. D badly when he's been so great these past four weeks, badly that my body hasn't shrunk back to its original size and weight yet, and anxious about not having enough time in the day to do all the things I want to get done plus do something fun that BD will enjoy. I'm my own worst enemy. This morning when Mr. D got up to play with BD and Pancake was sleeping next to me in the co-sleeper I should have been sound asleep, too. I was certainly tired enough. But my anxiety-ridden personality wouldn't allow it. Will I have enough time to do a quick morning yoga routine (10 minutes), run and shower before I have to call my dad at 10:00? We want to go to the regatta on the Schuylkill River today. What time will we finally get there by the time I do all of those morning activities plus eat breakfast and nurse Pancake a few times. Not to mention dealing with the now expected demands of baby Doodle before we leave and getting a picnic together. Then there's the issue of getting back to our house in time for BD's afternoon nap (which is becoming extinct, but hasn't disappeared completely yet).

I feel like I'm on the brink of a break down. Add to that the anxiety about knowing that things are only going to get worse when Mr. D goes back to work in 2 short weeks!