the consequences of divorce

The problem with divorce and remarriage is that the new wife's (or husband's) interests never begin with the step children. The new wife's (or husband's) interests might include the step children because they are generally first on the parent's list of priorities, but they don't come first or even second for the new wife. At least this has been my experience.

My father had a relationship with his now wife not long after he divorced my mother. It is her first marriage and my dad's second. She has no kids of her own to understand the commitment parents usually have for their children. My dad was supposed to be home in November, then he extended his service in the Peace Corps, which is admirable. The new arrival date was moved to January, then it was moved again to March. When I say "it was moved" I mean my father voluntarily extended his stay for each of these increments. In March he decided he had to stay because the Director of the Peace Corps (the director of the whole organization) was to visit his site in Joal, Senegal to see the project my dad has been working on. I don't begrudge him for staying longer yet again. It was a big opportunity for him and I would have done the same thing. He left Joal right after the Director was there at the end of April. He went to France to oversee the renovation of his brother-in-law's house in southern France (which I knew was the plan). He was due to come home at the end of June, definitely by July first because his BIL had renters arriving at the house on or around the first of July.

I got a call today from my father who said -- you'll never guess -- that he's not coming home until the end of July or beginning of August. The reason? Because his wife, who is in Senegal now, but who had traveled to France recently and is no longer working for the Peace Corps, is having a "hard time" and she and my dad need to spend some time together. So she's going to France I don't know when and they're going to "spend some time together," and then he's coming back. I didn't ask what happened to the tenants who are supposed to be renting her brother's house. I did suggest that they spend time together in the States so he could come home sooner. He said that she is going to stay in France through August and that she's not planning to come back any time soon.

Great. It's a good thing baby Doodle's not older and feeling as neglected as I am by his grandfather.