I've hit another rut in my social life. There was a really big rut I worked my way out of when we moved here last July, but I'm feeling rather lonely again. When we first moved to Philly Mr. Doodlebug had a job lined up. He didn't start his job until a few weeks after we moved in to our first house. We used that time to unpack, figure out where we wanted things, shop for furniture and paint two rooms (the family room which was red, including the ceiling, with black trim, and our bedroom which was dark blue on two walls and stark white on the other two). I didn't have a job and was looking for one when I found out I was pregnant. I decided I wouldn't pursue any career-building jobs (I had just received my Masters in education) because I knew that I wanted to stay home with our baby for at least the first year.

I took a trip up to Vermont where my parents and brother still lived. While I was there a friend of a friend who I had interviewed with at the National Constitution Center called and offered me a temporary job. It was a three month gig as the Director of Programs at the Center. I told him that I was pregnant and had morning sickness and asked if I could work 10 to 6 instead of the normal 8:30 to 5:00. He said no, and I said then I don't want the job. He called back the next day and said 10 to 6 would work fine for them. So I started at the end of August.

I met some cool people there who I like very much. One of them was pregnant and due the week before me. We got along well. We ate lunch together most days and talked about what our bodies were going through and how hard it was to sleep etc... She invited me to her baby shower and I invited her to mine. I thought we'd be friends for a while and that our kids would play together when they got old enough. I ended up staying at the Center for five months then leaving because I was bored and getting more and more tired as my pregnancy progressed so I quit at the end of January. Before I got the job and after I quit were quite lonely.

It's harder to make friends at my age (28) when you move to a city where you don't know anyone, and you're married -- so the motivation to go hang out at a bar or something isn't there, you'll just end up talking to each other anyway. It's not like college where you have a built-in social scene and you live in a dorm with a lot of other people who are all looking for friends, and you don't have husbands and wives and kids. I think Philadelphia is espically hard because a lot of people who live here are from here, so they have well established social lives and routines. In DC most people are not from there so there aren't rigid social lives. Everyone is out to have a good time and meet new people -- of course I was younger then (21-27).

It took a lot of getting used to to be home alone all day with no friends, at least none who were also home during the day. I made good meals for Mr. Doodlebug and myself, I cleaned, did the laundry, all the household duties, but I wasn't satisfied with that kind of life. I thought once the baby is born I'll have my hands full and won't care that I don't have many people to hang out with.

I did meet two other pregnant women -- girlfiend and Jenn. Girlfiend had her baby on March 8 and Jenn hers on April 15. I hung out with them some, and again thought we'd be friends for a while and our kids would play together. Girlfiend and I have become closer friends and I enjoy hanging out with her, the fiendling and boyfiend. But Jenn and the other mother who I met at the Center are not responsive to my emails and phone calls. I am at the point where I don't want to keep calling when they're not returning my calls. On second thought, maybe I will give each of them a call again today and see if something is going on. I know that I can get wrapped up in whatever is going on in my life at the time (the lump, Roseola, my Dad's visit) and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But I think the reality is they both have friends and family nearby who they spend their time with and hanging out with me is only squeezed in when they don't have other plans already, which is rare, especially in the summer.

wah wah wah. I've gone on long enough with this pitiful post. I have baby Doodle, and he's healthy, at least for the time being. He's usually quite good company.