sad baby = sad mommy

Last night baby Doodle did not fall asleep nursing like he usually does. And I was left with the question: Should I let him stay up until he's hungry again and hope that he falls asleep then? Or should I put him in his crib awake and let him cry himself to sleep? We opted for the latter. Knowing that BD was very tired -- he was rubbing his eyes while he ate -- I put him in his crib and stood over him rubbing his head and singing softly to him. This did not put him to sleep. In fact, I suspected that my very presence was keeping him up. I left the room at 8:47 p.m. and gave him 15 minutes to fall asleep. If he was still crying at 9:02 p.m. I would get him and we'd try something else. The shrill cries started to die down around 8:57 and he was completely quiet by the deadline. He had cried himself to sleep.

It was awful. More for me than for him, I think. It is heartbreaking to listen to your baby wail on and on hoping that his mommy will come save him from the misery of being put to bed. I held my ground, as hard as it was, and did not get him from his crib. He slept until 2:00 a.m. when he woke up to eat. Stopping that habit is our next battle. Then, on to removing the pacifier from BD's life altogether -- we're already starting to wean him from it at our pediatrician's advice.