Bean

Potty Training

2012-01-04T13:23:00.000-05:00

I hate potty training. I would rather change dirty, smelly diapers than have to spend an hour putting my kid to bed for her nap. Both because Pancake gets a mini marshmallow every time she uses the potty and because she doesn't want to lay down and sleep she continually gets out of her bed claiming she has to poop. Twice now I have gone upstairs, taken off her diaper and pulled down her pants just to have her sit there -- maybe a tiny stream of pee makes its way to the plastic bowl -- without so much as a fart.

She has bunk beds in her room, and I put her to bed in the bottom bunk twice a day (nap and night time) and twice a day she gets up and either claims she has to use the potty or wanders around the second floor looking for Doodle's toys to play with while he's at school. Then she sleeps in the Pack 'n Play in the corner of her room, twice a day.

Her room really isn't big enough for the portable crib and the bunk beds, but I refuse to lay with her every night until she falls asleep, so Pack 'n Play it is.

On a positive note, she is doing quite well at using the potty. She even went to a store bathroom when we were out this morning. I hope it's just the novelty of going in a potty that is making her want to go so often and that it will pass.

Mummers Parade today

2012-01-01T16:39:00.001-05:00

Christmas

2011-12-31T09:10:00.003-05:00

Santa knew what he was getting into when he brought Doodle a drum set -- it will be kept in the basement as soon as I can clear out a suitable space. Doodle also received a Wii, with which he is obsessed. We've already placed some limits on him and they will get more strict when this vacation is over. Pancake was given Angelina Ballerina in all of her stupendous forms (game, hugely stuffed, with various clothes to dress, book, DVD). Pancake was also given a ticket to see the Nutcracker with Mr. D, Grammy, Grandma and me. She loved it. She was in awe, staring with big eyes at every ballet dancer and their costumes.

Santa is sitting on an ice chair!

Watching the light show at Macy's in Center City.

At The Nutcracker at the Academy of Music.

My trip to Charlotte

2011-12-30T15:08:00.000-05:00

Back in October Mr. D gave me a round trip plane ticket to Charlotte to visit a dear friend of mine who I had not seen in more than five years. The trip was for the first weekend in December, which was good because I had a herniated disc in my back in October and was still recovering in November. More on the excruciating back pain and resulting sciatica (which I still have) later.

My trip to Charlotte offered much needed refuge for my spirit. In October a recipe for depression had been brewing for a few days until the demons were fully cooked and ready to take over what thriving spirit I had left. The recipe: Being incapacitated or in constant pain for weeks. Add to that, a stressful and emotional interaction with a different good friend -- we haven't spoken since.

I arrived in Charlotte on Friday evening and was cheerfully greeted by L. It was the strangest experience traveling without my children. There were no hands to hold, no one to keep an eye on while managing three other things, no one to ask to go to the bathroom. I only had to care for myself -- how odd. L took me to her beautiful new house and gave me the tour before she treated me to a delicious meal at her favorite local restaurant. We talked and talked. I told her about my recent hurtful experience with my friend. She told me about the problems her family has had with her younger brother. We went back to her place and visited with her husband, M, before going to sleep. I had the second floor to myself -- very comfortable four-poster bed, cozy bedding and a beautifully renovated bathroom.

The next day was relaxing. L took me for a long walk around her neighborhood, showing me M and her office spaces, stopping for lunch and talking, always talking. I told her about some of the issues we've been having with Doodle. She told me about her relationship with her parents, specifically her mother, and her decision to try to have a baby.

We took a quick trip to the store to get some items for the party L was throwing that night so I could meet some of her friends. On the way to the store I re-introduced Josh Ritter to her, I know she'll be eternally grateful! When we got home we relaxed on the sofa and watched a very bad, girly movie -- just what I wanted. L prepared some things for the party and let me watch the must-see ending -- I don't say that sarcastically. Her first guest had arrived and I could barely pull myself away to run upstairs and throw on a skirt and some make up.

L's friends were fabulous -- full of life and self worth. They so warmly welcomed me into their circle for the evening. Two of them were massage therapists and when I told them what had happened to my back they used my body to practice their incredible craft -- both of them working at the same time. At first I was standing in the kitchen but then they had me move to the living room floor where one was at my head and upper back and the other was at my feet and legs. They worked their warm hands deeply through my muscles and tendons and cells. When they were finished working their magic M played the didgeridoo over me. Its vibrations sunk into me -- I was at peace. I lay motionless for a time while L's friends made their way back to the kitchen.

M DJ'ed the rest of the night and we danced without inhibition.

The next day was Sunday, the day I returned to my normal life. L and I went for another walk and talked some more, with a friend like L there are always things to talk about and fun to have. I wasn't away long enough to really miss Doodle and Pancake and Mr. D, but I was really glad to see their smiling faces when they met me at the airport. I needed that trip and vowed to make it a yearly occurrence.

Halloween

2011-11-02T17:43:00.002-04:00

He was Peter Pan and she was Tinkerbell. They collected enough candy to last us two years. Last year Doodle counted his candy and there were over 200 pieces. He hasn't counted this year, but we have way way more than 200 pieces. I would say about 600. It's obscene.

Pancake jamming

2011-10-30T18:16:00.001-04:00

Snowing on October 29!

2011-10-29T13:48:00.001-04:00

It is snowing today. Snowing and raining alternately. The kids and Mr. D went out in it. I was on my way to getting properly clothed when the snow stopped and rain began, and the crew was ready to come back in. The real snow is supposed to start tonight. It looks like Doodle will get out of playing soccer again this week -- more on his contempt for losing later.

my father

2011-10-16T14:59:00.000-04:00

I sat silently listening to my father give me a twenty minute lecture on what a bad parent I am and how wonderful his parenting was. He was laughing through some of it because he finds my parenting style laughable. Here are some highlights:

We aren't firm enough with Doodle.
We shouldn't let our two-year old decide if she wants to talk to her grandfather on the phone, she should be made to do it.
It's comical to him when Doodle comes out of bed at night after being told to stay in his room.

This one-way conversation was on the heals of being asked to borrow a large sum of money to buy a multi-unit house.

Loose tooth

2011-10-02T16:28:00.003-04:00

While I was painting our hutch Doodle came in and asked if he could tell me a secret. Yes, of course, I eagerly replied. "I have a loose tooth," he said. Then he showed me his wiggly bottom tooth. I can't believe my boy is growing up so fast.

He turned five and a half yesterday.

Pancake quotes

2011-09-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

Pancake took the mini plunger (which we don't use for the toilet) and put it on top of her head and said, "this is my umbrella." Then she took the other one and said, "this is Uncle Doodle's umbrella."

Doodle and his friend and Pancake were watching a movie and eating portioned out gummy bears. Pancake had fewer than the other two and came in to ask for more.
Pancake: "Can I have more of those?"
Me: "No, you had plenty."
Pancake: "Can I have more you had plenty?"
She had to tell me three times before I understood what she was saying.

Pancake quotes

2011-09-15T16:08:00.001-04:00

I put Pancake down for a nap and after an hour she still wasn't asleep. I went to her room and encouraged her to try to sleep and that I would check on her after I folded the laundry -- the life of a stay-at-home-parent is so glamorous. She started crying and said, "but I'm awake!" I reiterated that I wanted her to lay down on her pillow and try to sleep. With big wet eyes and blotchy cheeks she looked up at me and pathetically said, "but, I love you so much." She really knows how to push the guilt button, even at her young age.

Doodle came home from school and was working on his homework, which takes him all of two minutes. Pancake got a piece of paper and a pencil and was scribbling then she said, "When we are finished with our homework can we watch a movie?!?"

I love how she mimics him.

Doodle's first day of kindergarten

2011-09-13T12:43:00.001-04:00

Today I took Doodle for his first day of actual school. He has been nervous in the days and weeks leading up to today, but he did great this morning. He woke up around 7:00, wanted to get dressed and brush his teeth first thing -- very unusual for Doodle -- and then watched an episode of Wild Kratts. He had a good breakfast and seemed pretty relaxed and ready to go when his friend came over (for me to give him a ride). We took some pictures and off we went. When we first got to the playground outside his classroom he asked, "what do we do now?" I told him he could play for a few minutes before school started. He waited on line after the first bell rang and when his teacher opened the door he marched right in and found his name on the table. He was sitting with two of his friends, which was great for him.

I am going to pick him up this afternoon. I'm anxious to find out what he thought of the day and what they did. I hope he wants to go back tomorrow!

Surprisingly, I did not shed a tear. I got a little teary reading to him last night, but this morning there were dry eyes all around.

five-year old conversation

2011-09-08T13:29:00.001-04:00

Doodle has a friend over and they're watching a movie. I overheard this conversation:
Doodle: She's smoking! Smoking isn't nice.
Friend: Yes, smoking IS nice.
Doodle: No, it isn't.
Friend: Yes, it is, but it will make you die faster.

Another story by Doodle

2011-09-04T09:59:00.000-04:00

Doodle and Mr. D are in the process of writing a chapter book. Doodle dictates and Mr. D writes. Here is what they have so far for chapter two:

After another day of vacation, Jerry went to China to see the Great Wall. Then he went to see the panda bears, and then he went to the China Zoo. At the China Zoo, first he went to see the hippopotamuses, then he went to see the platypus. Then he got on a plane to Minneapolis.

It was the Vikings against the Saints. The Vikings won the coin toss and got the ball first. Just as the Saints lined up to kick the ball, Jerry ran out on the file. And as the Vikings ran out on the field, Tom was with them. When the Vikings were playing defense, Tom saw Jerry out of the corner of his eye. Tom started to run after Jerry. They were knocking over the goalposts!

The players were so surprised that they had to cry because the goalposts had been knocked over. The referees came out to take a look right when the players got up from crying, and the players said, "I'm fine. What are you doing here?" The referees said, "We're coming out to poop."

To be continued. . .

Lake Tahoe

2011-08-06T01:21:00.000-04:00

We are in Tahoe, California having an amazing trip. Mr. D was out here for a conference and I joined him, solo, for his last two days of work. We had a great time at a luxurious hotel. My mother and aunt, who had the children, returned them to us and we came to a condo in Tahoe City.

Our first full day here we went for a 10-mile bike ride from Tahoe City to Squaw Valley along the Truckee River. Today we hiked to Ellis Peak which overlooks Lake Tahoe and offers incredible views of the Sierra Nevada mountain range. The hike took us about five and a half hours and Doodle did the whole thing without complaining. It wasn't an easy hike. There were steep ascensions, rocky terrain and a whole lot of snow. They opened the road leading to the trail head last week for the first time since last summer because of the tremendous amounts of snow that fell here this winter and spring. The trail was not marked at all and the snow made it difficult to follow the path many times during the hike both on our way and on the way back. The hike was longer and harder than we anticipated, but everyone contributed to the success of our trip. Doodle found the path a few times on the way back down and never complained. A five-year old making a difficult six-mile trek lasting a little more than five and a half hours is really impressive. I'm so proud of him. I carried Pancake on the way to the peak and Mr. D carried her on the return trip. We all found the trail when we had lost our way. Pancake's contribution was her cheery demeanor.

Tomorrow we're rafting along the Truckee River. Great vacation so far. I'm loving it. Here are a few pictures from our hike today and one of Squaw Valley.

That's Doodle and Pancake on the wall under the Olympic flame.

Sierra Nevada mountains and beautiful flower meadow. This is about a third of the way to the peak.

Snow in August! We had a few snowball fights during the hike.

At the peak.

Lake Tahoe

night with Doodle

2011-07-08T20:36:00.000-04:00

With school out for the summer Doodle is demanding more and more attention from me and becoming more jealous of Pancake. Tonight he went from bad to worse and ended up in time out during dinner for continually putting his feet on the table after being told not to. While in time out he destroyed his room, which is his MO. I warned him that what ever he messed up he would have to clean before bed which meant no time to play with Mr. D before bed. Still, he made his room look as if an elephant had walked through with his trunk flailing. I had to remove the two framed pieces of his art work for fear that he would throw them against the wall.

When his tantrum was over I told him he had to get in the bath. Another tantrum ensued. He ended up in the bath, I cleaned him, then he refused to get out of the bath. Mr. D had to remove his uncooperative body from the tub. He was warned that there was going to be no playing with me or Mr. D until his room was clean even if it meant no play time for a week. That woke up his good sense and he started to acquiesce. Mr. D and I agreed to help him clean as long as he was doing most of the work. He found a book that he had forgotten he had and wanted Mr. D to read it while Doodle and I cleaned. Every time Doodle stopped cleaning Mr. D stopped reading and I stopped loading the books on the shelf.

He is now falling asleep in his bed in a clean room with an empty belly. I hate nights like tonight. It makes me feel like we're not doing a good job with him, that he's ungrateful and only behaves when we're doing something he wants to do. He's selfish and has a temper that he has difficulty controlling. I don't know how to help him control his temper. I don't know how to help him be less selfish. I feel at a loss. I yelled quite loudly and abruptly at him when he wouldn't get out of the bath and then said to Mr. D, within ear shot of Doodle, but not in the same room, "I won't take his f***ing sh*t any more."

Crappy, crappy night. Parenting is hard. I feel like my entire life is spent doing things that other people, particularly the kids, want to do. I'm trapped in this life for now and sometimes it sucks.

It's going to be a long, hot summer

2011-07-07T17:05:00.000-04:00

The heat makes me tired and lazy. I feel like getting up to change Pancake's diaper is a huge effort -- making my leg muscles stand my body up and then moving my feet one in front of the other seems like a monstrous chore. I've been making a concerted effort to stay hydrated, but I am still moving in slow motion. It's times like these that make me think I should start drinking caffeine regularly.

quick update

2011-07-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

Pancake, thankfully, did not have a UTI. She had Hand, Foot & Mouth, but it only showed up in her mouth. It went away pretty quickly and no one else caught it.

We spent 6 days in Vermont visiting my mother and brother. The kids had a great time. They especially loved swimming in Vermont's beautiful fresh water ponds and lakes. Then Mr. D took the kids to his parents' house and I went to Maine with my girlfriends from high school. The weather was miserable, but we had a great time. For me, it was a much needed break from my every day life with the kids.

We're back in Philly now and will be going to a lake today to celebrate the 4th of July.

Doodle has been showing his jealousy toward Pancake by acting out, talking back and not listening to his wise parents. He starts camp tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to get him up and out of the house without too much drama.

fevered

2011-06-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

Pancake had a fever today and no other symptoms, I'm hoping it's not another UTI because that would mean that she probably hasn't outgrown the VUR (vesicourtereal reflux). I gave her ibprofin and it improved her mood and her temperature. After dinner she sat on the kitchen floor going through my purse. She pulled out a wipe and held it to her forehead and said, "This wipe feels me better." It was so cute.

Appel Farm Music Festival

2011-06-04T22:36:00.000-04:00

We went to the Appel Farm Music Festival today with two other couples and their kids. We had a picnic lunch and dinner and saw some good bands (David Wax Museum and, of course, Josh Ritter, were my favorites). There were plenty of activities for the kids (moon bounce, crafts, puppet show, man with a monkey act). We chose a spot near the open grass so the kids could run around and Mr. D and Doodle could play catch, which they did for a while. Doodle played with his "rookie" team this morning and he was in the mood to work on his fielding skills. He caught 36 of 50 balls Mr. D threw.

Doodle was excited to hear Josh play a number of songs he recognized. His favorite from tonight's set was Temptation of Adam. He danced and ran around with his friends. A good time was had by all.

I'm going to attempt to post a video I took of them. The music is Nicole Atkins and the Black Sea.

Waiting for Superman

2011-06-03T10:47:00.000-04:00

I saw Waiting for Superman last night. For those of you who don't know, it's a documentary about the state of public education in our country. It's very well done, but I think there are some areas that could have been more developed and some simplification of the problems and solutions. For example, there is a short segment on a man who overtook a failing school in LA. In this school's 40 year history it produced 60,000 drop outs, I might be getting the numbers wrong here, but it was an alarming statistic. The film didn't go into how the new principal changed things or if he changed the school at all. If things improved the film didn't tell how it was done or what the success rate is now.

I have known the term "tracking" for a while, and when I was in school I certainly knew there were kids in remedial classes, average classes and advanced classes, but I never realized that it was a conscious decision by adults in charge to place each kid on a track based on their test scores and sometimes their classroom behavior. I am not a good standardized test taker, but I was a very good student -- all the way through. I was on the average track in high school, and I now suspect that it was because I didn't score well on (a) standardized tests I took.

My high school had AP English, History and Math classes, but I never knew about them until my friends and acquaintances and I discussed our schedules. Most of my friends were in the average classes too. And most of the kids who took AP classes were friends with each other. I should have been taking advanced classes in high school. My school, in this respect, did a disservice to me, and others like me.

I only remember meeting my guidance counselor one time in the four years I was in high school and it was while applying to colleges. She didn't serve me well either. She offered no advice as to what colleges I should be looking at. She only told me to make sure I got my applications in on time.

Mr. D went to a Catholic high school. The guidance and process of applying to college was far superior than at my school. All of the teacher recommendation letters were vetted by the guidance office before sending them off to the universities, there were meetings with each student about what schools they might be interested in and which ones they should apply to, there were college fairs that the students were encouraged to attend. I, on the other hand, was alone in deciding where to apply. I missed the deadline for Duke, was accepted at UConn and UNC Charlotte, and denied by UNC Chapel Hill. My only priority was that the school be in a warm climate. So UNC Charlotte was where I went, until I transferred at the end of my sophomore year. At 17, my priorities should have been different and I should have had more guidance from my school and my parents, neither of whom went to college. I don't blame my parents because they didn't have first hand experience with the process and were ignorant themselves, about what schools' reputations were etc. . . But my high school should have been more helpful.

I don't regret going to UNCC, I met some great friends there and I had a good time, but the south was not for me. I ended up right back where I started, in Vermont. I graduated from UVM, which was a better school academically and a better fit for me personally. It's hard to know how things may have ended up if I had chosen to go to UConn instead of UNCC, but I think I would not have transferred schools after two years and would have had a better connection to my alma mater. Needless to say, if I had gone to a different school it would have changed the whole trajectory of my life, and I'm quite happy with how my life is, and so don't regret the decisions I've made.

I've gone off on a tangent. What I wanted to say is that tracking is doing a disservice to our kids, and now that I have my own, I don't want them to be set on an educational path that might not push them to their highest potential. Children should not have to hope their number gets called in a random lottery to know that they're going to get a good education. All public schools should hold students to the highest levels they can achieve, and some do this already, but not enough.

so so hot

2011-05-31T22:11:00.000-04:00

On this, the last day of May, the high was 92 degrees. I sweat my way to and from Doodle's school twice, I weeded, and did a minor landscaping job. Sweat was dripping off the tip of my nose and my glasses, and later my sunglasses, were sliding down its bridge. My originally loose fitting shirt was stuck to my belly and back, and my legs and arms glistened with salty water my body so handily produced. I took two showers to feel less sticky. I am now sitting under a ceiling fan with my body contorted so I can feel the slightly cool breeze being sucked in by the window fan next to the bed.

I hate the extreme heat, and it's still May!

bathroom conversation

2011-05-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

Doodle is peeing.
Pancake: Are you peeing, Doodle?
Doodle: Yes.
Pancake: You have a peenis to pee. I can just use my butt.

peace and quiet

2011-05-16T10:46:00.000-04:00

Whenever the kids are too quiet I consciously let them do whatever mischievous thing they're doing just so that I can have 15 minutes of peace to take a shower and get dressed. I choose to deal with the consequences later -- cleaning up water off the floor, organizing toys, putting clothing back in the drawers etc. . .

Shalala

2011-05-10T23:11:00.000-04:00

I was making phone calls tonight to raise money for a local community center and one of the people on my list was named Donna Shalala. I, having worked in DC for 6 years, know who the former HHS Secretary is, but assumed this was a different Donna Shalala. I had a very nice conversation with her. Even though she lives in Florida and didn't recognize the name of the community center when I first mentioned it, she was nice, even warm toward me. I explained her connection to the center and she immediately remembered and said she had already sent a check.

Later I was telling some of my fellow callers about her and one of them told me that she was the Donna Shalala. I was so impressed. No one else remembered/knew who she was, but I was stoked to have spoken with the former Health and Human Services Secretary (under Clinton). And she was lovely.

Doodle's recent adventure

2011-05-08T20:28:00.000-04:00

I haven't been posting as regularly as I have in the past due to posting shorter updates on Facebook. I am recommitting myself to updating this blog more often than twice a month. Now to my post.

My father was visiting us for a few days and he took Doodle for a bike ride along the Schuylkill River. Doodle was in the trailer, not on his own bike. They stopped to hang out by the river for a while. Doodle was playing close to the edge and my father warned him several times to back up. He did, but within minutes he'd be right back by the water's edge.

One of the times he ventured too close and fell into water over his head. He moved his arms and legs to stay afloat, but my father said his expression was one of terror. My dad jumped in and pulled him out of the water. He was shivering and soaked. He got back in the trailer and they headed for home. Doodle wasn't so shaken that he couldn't stop to observe some snapping turtles on the way home.

When the guys arrived home I put Doodle in the bath tub, he warmed up, then got into his pajamas with feet, and curled up on the couch with a blanket and watched Life. My dad said that after the initial fear of being suddenly in the deep water, he was laughing at the sight of my dad jumping into the river.

When we're in Vermont over the summer I'll have to make sure that Doodle goes into the lakes and rivers to be sure he's not afraid of the water.

Doodle is 5!

2011-04-06T14:05:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe that my first darling baby is five -- school-age, bike-riding age. I haven't written about him much on this blog lately, which is not an indication of the attention he is getting at home.

He is reading the level 5 BOB books. He can sound out most words now and has a growing number of sight words memorized. He is quite proud of his reading skills and has me keeping a list of every book he reads. We do it by season, I just started the Spring 2011 list last night with Thomas Comes to Breakfast, a non-BOB book. He can add and subtract in his head excluding 3-digit numbers. It started when he wanted to figure out how old he would be when Pancake was a certain age. Then he would subtract and figure out how old she will be when he's a certain age. He improved himself and can do simple math on his own now.

His knowledge of baseball continues to amaze me. He received a baseball game from friends of ours for his birthday. The game comes with a felt ball field and two teams of players in various positions (crouching catcher, ready to throw pitcher, runners, batters, fielders with their gloves ready to receive the ball, and an umpire). Doodle immediately set up the field correctly. Now he and Mr. D play with the game when Mr. D gets home from work. Doodle is signed up for Rookie Baseball (as opposed to T-Ball) at a local league. The season starts April 15th.

A few months ago Doodle was writing stories, well, he was dictating them to Mr. D who wrote them exactly as they were spoken. Here are a few examples:

The Baseball Game
Doodle was going to a baseball game in Philadelphia so he could see the teams play. It was the Philadelphia Phillies against the Mets. Aidan got there in time. The game started. The Mets were up first. The pitcher pitched and it was a fly ball, but Shane caught it. Then the next batter came up to bat. It was a hit; it went right through Chase Utley's legs. But Shane caught it close to the dirt and threw it at second to hold the runner at first. Then we met Maura.

Doodle and Daddy brought nuts and cracked them open. But that was no problem for Roy Halladay. He struck everyone out except the guy who got the single, and the Mets had to go back to the field.

The Phillies got the lead by a single, then they got another single, then they got a triple to score two runs. But then the Mets struck out everyone else on the Phillies, but they did score two runs.
In the ninth, Doodle wanted to go home. The score in the 9th was 3-6 Phillies. It was the last chance for the Mets to get ahead, but they just got strike outs and the Phillies won.

Then Doodle, Daddy, Pancake and Mommy went home and played all the rest of the day. And all night long, Doodle dreamed of that baseball game. The family the next day had a picnic.   The basket was filled with peanut butter and jelly, some carrots and cucumbers. The baby had a yogurt. They had water to drink. Then when they went home, they took a nap.
The End.
Feb. 2, 2011

I'll post a few more of Doodle's stories in a future post.

He continues to be good to Pancake. He hugs her when we pick him up at school (he's in pre-K five mornings a week), he usually shares his toys with her, unless he's playing with one of his friends. The other day he couldn't wait for her to wake up from her nap so she could play with him. They play nicely together most of the time.

Doodle does have an extremely annoying side. He still refuses to pee when asked. He always waits until the last possible moment leaving him no time to lift both seats on the toilet, and making it near impossible to not spray urine on the walls, floor and back of the toilet. I have tried all kinds of motivation to get him to go to the bathroom well before it is imminent, but I've gotten nowhere. He rarely has accidents, but a few weeks ago he had three in one week. Now he's back to just barely making it to the bathroom.

He also doesn't like going to other people's birthday parties. At first it was just girls' parties, but now it's anyone's. I suspect it's because someone other than him is being celebrated. What an awful, self-centered, narcissistic way to be. I've tried talking to him about this too -- if people only wanted to celebrate themselves then no one would come to your birthday party because they wouldn't want to see someone else get attention, and it hurts the Fiendling's feelings when you don't go to his party because he invited you and he wants you to celebrate with him, etc. . .   He tests the boundaries with other issues too, but nothing out of the ordinary for a five-year old.

In general, he's a sweet, kind, smart, athletic kid, who, unbelievably, will be starting Kindergarten in the fall!

Pancake is 2

2011-04-06T09:39:00.001-04:00

My baby girl is not a baby any more. She's a kid who interacts, has full conversations, knows what she wants and how to get it, either herself or by asking someone else. She fully enjoys the playground now, climbing up the ladder, going down the slides, swinging and running around. She is into pretend play. She pretends to cook meals in her kitchen or at the playground. She talks to her dolls the way I talk to her.

She put herself in time out the other day when I told her if she didn't leave the water off she was going to have to go to time out. She said, okay, and walked off into her room. About 30 seconds later she called out, "can I come out now?" exactly the way her brother says it. The truth is she rarely has to go to time out. I'm sure that will change in the coming year or two, but for now she's still pretty obedient.

She was extremely excited about her birthday. Doodle at this age didn't know to be excited but with their birthdays so close together (back to back) the excitement in the house rubbed off on her and she would ask every day when her birthday was. She asked so many times that she started telling other people that her birthday is "Maaahch firty-first." She knows that she's two now and that Doodle is five.

She still copies everything Doodle does. When he was having his vision tested at the pediatrician's office the nurse pointed to pictures on a chart and Doodle was supposed to say what each was. Pancake repeated everything Doodle said, "cross cross, heart heart, teacup teacup." Once the nurse pointed to a circle and Doodle took a moment to answer and Pancake blurted out, "circle!" I guess her vision is 20/20 too.

She knows what things she is not supposed to do and will do them and deliberately hide them from me. For example, she'll go into her crib and grab her pacifier. She'll keep it in while she plays by herself in her room. As soon as I come to check on her she'll either whip it out of her mouth or leave it in and give me a sly look saying, "I'm going to sleep now."

The other day she was quiet while I was busy doing something. I was happy to have the peace while I worked, but of course, the silence meant she was up to no good. I found a pile of half chewed gum, a puddle of saliva, and wrappers on the kitchen counter. I reprimanded her and she said, "I didn't swallow, I threw it away." A mantra she hears me tell her brother.

She knows many opposites. She says, "Is it raining today?" And I say, "Yes." She says, "It's raining, not sunny today." Or she says, "It's cold, not hot." Or, "It's not your birthday, it's my birthday." Or, "I'm not tired, I awake!"

Her hair is wavy and long and full. I wish I had hair like hers. I'll post a picture of it from the back. She asks me to "play Josh Ritter" quite often, a request I almost always oblige. Right now she is pulling every CD off of our rack, looking at each one and saying, "Is this Josh Ritter? No." and putting each back.

In the hour before we had to leave for their well visits with their pediatrician Doodle was crying, fearful of the vaccinations he knew he would be getting. Pancake patted his legs and said, "It's okay, Doodle, Pancake is here."

She's a darling and a sweetie pie.

Pancake is VUR-free

2011-03-10T13:58:00.000-05:00

Today, Pancake had another ultrasound and VCUG to determine if she still has vesicourteral reflux (VUR is a pediatric condition that causes urine to flow backwards from the bladder to the kidneys). She does not have it any longer.

The VCUG went differently than last year. This time she didn't mind having the catheter inserted or the x-ray machine lowered over her little torso. What she did mind was being made to pee on command and not being able/willing to do it. The nurse filled her bladder with fluid via the catheter then we all (two doctors, the nurse and I) waited for her to pee. We encouraged her with words (1, 2, 3, pee and relax and let the pee come out), with noises (running water), and with touch (warm water being squirted on her feet and pelvis). Nothing worked. I sang to her, I held her hands, I rubbed her forehead while she screamed and claimed that she didn't have to pee, even though the x-ray monitor told us that her bladder was completely full. Finally, after about 20 minutes of waiting she peed and the doctor saw that no urine went back up toward her kidney. It just came out of her body the way it is supposed to.

So she will not have to have antibiotic every night before bed any more! I didn't expect it to resolve itself as quickly as it did. It can take a few years or at least a potty-trained kid. Yay!

23 months

2011-02-28T19:14:00.000-05:00

Though it's only the 28th, we are marking it as Pancake's 23-month birthday leaving only one more month of counting her age in months.

We measured Pancake against the growth chart we have in her closet. Doodle at age two was about six inches taller than Pancake. She is still so tiny, except her "bagel belly," which makes her look like a pregnant 23-month old. (Bagel belly was coined by my MIL because Pancake loves bagels and they go down into her matching belly.) I think if she grew a few inches her bagel belly would diminish, but we're still waiting for that growth spurt.

Pancake has a doll named Penelope and lately she has been talking about going to Penelope's house to play with trains and other fun toys. I asked her where Penelope lives and she responded, "in her house!" obviously. More often than not Pancake speaks in sentences, with as many as nine words. Here is a common eight-word sentence: "I get my pacifiery out of my crib." I never put the "y" at the end of words. I refer to dogs as dogs, never doggies or puppies, I say pacifier, not binky and certainly not pacifiery, yet Pancake insists on adding "y"s to all kinds of words. Tonight at dinner she added to our family conversation by telling Mr. D that she "goed to the post office today," which was true.

She wants to do whatever Doodle does and she repeats everything he says, which is quite annoying when Doodle is playing copy everything that Mr. D and I say. "Doodle don't forget to eat your carrots." "Doodle don't forget to eat your carrots." "Doodle don foeget to eat yoe carrots?" Pancake often repeats things we say with a rise in her voice at the end of the sentence making most things she repeats questions.

She sits on the potty fully clothed and says that she's peeing or pooping, even though I'm pretty sure she's not doing either. I don't think she'll be potty trained for a while.

We took her to the same surgeon who removed Doodle's lymphangeoma to check out her now diagnosed dermatoid between her collar bones. It is something we need to keep an eye on but nothing to worry about. We probably won't even have it removed. She has an appointment with her nephrologist to see if she still has VUR (vesicourteral reflux) for which she's been on an antibiotic for the past year. Hopefully it has corrected itself and we can take her off the Bactrim, but I suspect it will be another year or two.

Doodle's birthday invitees

2011-02-25T12:59:00.000-05:00

Doodle asked me to make a list of all the people he is planning to invite to his birthday party, which isn't until April. He rattled off a bunch of friends then said:
Grandma, Grammy, Grandad . . . and my great-great-grandfather.
Me: Who is your great-great-grandfather?
Doodle: Otahn! (Otahn is my father)
Me: Othan is your grandfather, not your great-great-grandfather.
Doodle: Who is my great-great-grandfather?
Me: He isn't living any more. You never met him, I never met him either.
Doodle: I want to invite Uncle Dick, is he still living? (Uncle Dick is my uncle)
Me: Yes, he's still living.

The list also includes Daniel, but not Dori.

22 months

2011-01-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

I am able to have an actual conversation with Pancake where she asks intelligent questions and makes related comments. Out of the blue she hugs me and says, "I love you, Mommy." She takes a much more active role in controlling her own life than she did even a month ago. She will run away when I'm trying to get her coat on, and say, "No, I don't want my coat on." Or she will announce, "Mommy, come play with me in Pancake's room." Though she still refers to herself in the third person, she has been using pronouns much more.

She keeps her dolls' names straight, and there are an increasing number of dolls. She likes to dress, feed and read to her dolls. She will turn the pages of a book making up words that resemble the plot as it occurs on each specific page, and if there are just a few words she'll often remember exactly what the page says. She occasionally will say, "Mommy change my diaper. I pooped." She sometimes calls me or Mr. D a "stupid head" or a "poopy head" which we discourage, of course, but she thinks it's funny.

Her face is so demonstrative. Her intonation is adorable. She's awfully lovable, even when she's calling me a stupid head.

snowy day

2011-01-26T13:33:00.000-05:00

"Pancake, did you poop?"
"No, there is no poop in my body (pronounced bawdy), it just stinks in there." Pointing to her diaper.

It snowed about six inches this morning, no roads were plowed or salted and Doodle's school was not closed or delayed. So I loaded both kids in the car and slipped our way up the hill to school. When we got there the parking lot was nearly empty (and not plowed) and there were only four kids' coats in the coat room. I immediately regretted making the trek and wished I had not rushed through our morning routine -- I only did half of my yoga routine. I left him there and decided to walk to pick him up at noon. My neighbor and her 10-month old walked with me and Pancake to our kids' school to pick them up. It is the only time in my life that I can remember thinking that school should not have opened in these conditions, and I grew up in Vermont.

Doodle and his friend had a great time throwing snow balls and walking home together, which was fun to see. I'm assuming his school will be closed tomorrow after their idiotic mistake this morning, but you never know. Right now it is sleeting, but we're supposed to get another six to eight inches later today.

Another Pancake quote:
Picking up a doll, "This is my sistah, he's a boy."

new year's resolution

2011-01-09T16:50:00.000-05:00

I normally don't make resolutions at the beginning of each year, but I came up with a good one that I can come close to fulfilling this year. I am trying to read at least one NY Times article every day. I have not kept up with the goings on in our country or world. When I worked in Washington I read multiple newspapers and checked news sites regularly. I used to watch the morning political shows every Sunday. Now I live in Philly where politics is not most people's livelihood and I have two children who keep me very busy.

So far I have missed three days of reading the NY Times, but I'm getting into the swing of it now and it's rapidly becoming a part of my daily routine. I already feel more in the know.

car accident

2011-01-07T19:36:00.001-05:00

Mr. D was in a car accident trying to get from Center City to our neighborhood for Doodle's Christmas concert on December 23rd. He was stopped behind a city bus that sat through two green lights. Everyone was going around the bus (it was on a two-lane one-way street) so Mr. D followed the crowd, but he misjudged the width of our car and side swiped the bus. Our passenger side doors were dented but the bus was unharmed since it was standing still and Mr. D was going 2 to 5 mph. All but one bus passenger got off and caught the next bus, which came only two minutes later. One passenger hung around looking for a free pay day and told Mr. D that he was going to go to the emergency room after he picked up his son and was planning to sue Mr. D. When the police arrived they asked for our car registration and proof of insurance, which was not in the car, though I assured Mr. D several times that it was in the car. He started getting really concerned that we botched our attempt to register to pay our insurance premiums on line and that we were in fact uninsured -- with a guy threatening to sue and a car that needed body work. He got a ticket for not having an updated insurance card and the ne'er-do-well requested the police report from the officer and took down Mr. D's name, license plate number and insurance information.

Mr. D walked in to Doodle's school just as the concert was ending. He was so distraught and annoyed and depressed. We talked it over and he realized that he had received an email from our insurer a few weeks earlier that he hadn't opened. I drove our damaged car home and Mr. D walked Doodle and Pancake home. Since I got home first I quickly got on the computer and found the aforementioned email. It said that our credit card would be charged our bi-yearly fee and to print out our insurance card and keep it in the car. As soon as Mr. D arrived home I greeted him with the good news. He then called the insurer and found out his marching orders. The car spent almost two weeks in the shop and we had a rental car during that time.

I was unaware that Dodge still made cars, but apparently they make crappy cars that are so awful they're mostly only rentals. The 2010 Caliber is what we had -- a cheap metal box with tiny windows. I got the call today to pick up our good old Accord. It looks great. They even cleaned the inside which anyone who has kids knows is a huge value. I'm happy to say that our Accord is much more to my liking even though it's nine years old now.

I'm also happy to report that the insurer has not heard from the guy who said he was going to sue, though he legally has two years to file a claim. He doesn't seem like the type to follow through.

21 months

2011-01-03T20:12:00.001-05:00

Pancake is getting scarily close to two years old. She had a great Christmas receiving a play kitchen and tons of accessories to go with it (cooking supplies, food, pizza-making kit, cupcake-making kit, shopping cart). She loves playing with it. She wanted me to put her real banana on her play wooden plate today. Her favorite things to make are eggs, pizza, quiche and ice cream. She also got a tea set from my mom. She requests to sleep with either the pink or green tea cup each time she goes to bed. She is very much into her baby dolls now too. She sleeps with Penelope every night. Penelope has to be in the bassinet she came with, and has her own blanket that must be shoved into the bassinet. She has named two of her dolls after a mother and daughter who live around the corner from us. One of the dolls, Rachel, came with her own pacifier. Pancake is just as worried that Rachel will be without her pacifier as she is about her own. As you can tell she is getting into make-believe play.

She's not great at sharing her things, but taking turns is within her mental capacity. Whenever Doodle wheels her shopping cart around she screams, Nooooo and tries to grab the handle from him. When I say that Doodle is taking a turn with it, she is okay as long as the turn isn't too long.

She remembers everything. I can't put her off without her reminding me that I told her she could have juice, crayons, a book, whatever. She likes to watch Doodle play "video games" on PBS.org and cheers him on sometimes.

She's become a contrarian like her brother, though not to the same degree. At bedtime I read her two books and sing two songs. I usually ask what songs she wants and if she doesn't come up with one I'll go through the list of regulars -- Twinkle Twinkle? ABCs? Take Me Out to the Ball Game? I've Been Working on the Railroad? She will say no to every one until I threaten to put her to bed if she doesn't choose one. She has also taken to purposefully prolonging her bed time routine. I'll be carrying her across the room to her crib and she'll say, "one more song, please." It's just so cute to hear her ask so politely that I have to sing another song.

She is agreeable most of the time and if I stick to my decision -- like, "you can't keep spilling your milk on the table" (a few months ago she figured out how to get the liquid out of her sippy cup) -- she accepts it much more easily and quickly than Doodle, a result of his/her age I believe.

She's outgoing, not clingy at all, cuddly, loving and generally a really good toddler.

Pancake and Doodle wearing snowman hats a friend made for them.

Pancake is wearing a frog backpack and holding a frog hat and her baby Rachel, she is "ready to go to school."

Christmas time

2010-12-12T21:33:00.000-05:00

The holiday season and summer go by so quickly -- both are packed with fun activities and gatherings to keep us busy and entertained. We were in Vermont for Thanksgiving where we saw most of my dad's side of the family at my mom's house (even though they're divorced) and attended my 15-year high school reunion. The car ride was long, but Doodle watched videos most of the way and my dad was in the back seat with them so Pancake was able to get her needs met without having to wait for Mr. D or I to turn around. My reunion was strange, fun, surreal. A lot of the men are heavier and balder than they were in high school. Most of the women looked about the same or better than in 1995. We ate mediocre food, participated in (and won) a trivia game about our class, drank a lot of vodka tonics, danced and caught up with a bunch of people, some of whom I wasn't close with in high school, but we got along well as adults.

The weekend after Thanksgiving we spent in Atlantic City with another family with whom we're close. They have two girls the exact ages of our kids. We each had suites so there was plenty of room for playing and drinking alike. The kids swam in the pool, played air hockey and basketball in the game room, watched movies, ate pizza and ran around. We also went to an underwhelming light show at the Tropicana and shopped at some of the outlets that were not there the last time I was (1996).

This weekend we got and decorated our tree, had good friends over for dinner and visited Mr. D's parents in New Jersey. In the midst of all this we've been Christmas shopping, which I actually enjoy. I've been busy, but we've been having a good time and spirits are high, even mine, which has been rare lately.

20 months

2010-11-30T13:18:00.000-05:00

Pancake is lot less difficult now than when she turned 18 months. She's more reasonable when I tell her she can't do or have something. I just told her to get off the table and she said, "okay, Mommy," and got down. Her language continues to be a strength. Right now she is standing on the stool in front of the kitchen sink saying, "wash my hands, Mommy." Her cutest new phrase is, "what ah you doing, Mommy?" And, "what happened, Mommy?" She says the latter one whenever anyone has a surprised or annoyed reaction to something. I have to get her on video again soon. Her intonation is just so cute. She also likes to demand that I sit, then she sits, then she folds her hands in her lap and diplomatically asks, "how ah you, Mommy?"

She yells at Doodle when he's bothering her, whether he took a toy away from her or is crowding her while she's playing. She says, No No No No Doodle! She's definitely not a push over. And I don't think she'll have the same lack of assertiveness that Doodle has.

She still enjoys talking on the phone, having both real and pretend conversations. She says, "hewoh, how ah you? Good." She has mastered the shape sorter, and still loves to play it. She likes to push Doodle's trains around the tracks, especially through the tunnel. She sometimes calls herself by her name, "Pancake do it self!" and sometimes she uses the pronoun, "I want apple." She wants to do most thing "by self" now, including going down the stairs, which she does quite well.

We just got back from my mother's house in Vermont. As soon as we got there Pancake went to our room, opened the curtain to the closet where her crib usually is and said, "Pancake's bed. Pancake sweeps here." I couldn't believe she remembered where she slept and where the room was. The last time we were there she couldn't verbally articulate herself, but the memory was still there.

Just now she was trying to grab a banana out of the basket. She ended up with two in her hands and said, "two bananas!" When she wants to pass through a narrow opening she says, "Sowy, sowy, I want to get by."

She makes me laugh, she surprises me with her wit, memory and vocabulary, she's physically cute, but even more her personality and the way she talks are cute.

19 months

2010-11-04T16:35:00.001-04:00

Pancake is developing in leaps and bounds and her level of cuteness is rising at the same rate. Eventually she'll level off and become a bossy two/three-year old with lots of opinions, but for now she's delightful and adorable and we're enjoying every minute.

She's a super quick learner. A few weeks ago I took out the shape sorter that Doodle used to play with. I showed her how to do it and she played with it for a while, sometimes getting the shapes wrong, sometimes right. She didn't know the names of any of them. Today, I took the sorter back out. She consistently put the shapes in the right hole on the first try. She said, "Triangle goes right there," and pointed to the triangle hole then proceeded to put it in. It's been obvious to us for quite a few months that her language skills are really great, but now she's putting the language together with other skills and she sounds like such a big kid! She just said to me, "That's Doodle's brella, I pick up. Here you go, Mommy," as she handed Doodle's umbrella to me.

She sings a few songs now: Happy Birthday is her favorite one and she changes who's birthday it is; she doesn't know every letter yet, but ABCs is another one she sings a lot -- she's actually singing it right now sitting on the floor behind me, "ABCDLMNOP"; The Wheels on the Bus (her favorite part is when the babies go waa, waa, waa); Old McDonald; and Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

She asks to go to sleep for naps and at bed time, not every day, but often. And she means it when she asks, which makes bed time so easy (I'm knocking on wood). Sometimes when I'm changing her diaper she'll ask for her pacifier (pahfiah) which she only gets when she's going to sleep. When I say no, she says that she wants to go to sleep, knowing that she has no intention of sleeping. She's already fibbing to get her way (though I don't let her have her pacifier).

She loves to have books read to her. She knows a lot of them by name and will ask for specific books. She loves to talk on the phone to imaginary listeners or real people. Her memory is remarkable. When I'm getting her dressed she'll inform me who she got the clothes from, "R's pants, Mom." She will remark on other things that I had long forgotten about and I'm amazed she remembered or noticed what ever it was.

She's our cutie pie.

Halloween pictures

2010-11-01T18:49:00.000-04:00

Though Pancake turned 19 months yesterday, I don't have the time at the moment to post about her developmental milestones and how impossibly cute she is.

For those of you unfamiliar with Philadelphia/the Phillies, Doodle was the Phillie Phanatic, the Phillies' mascot, for Halloween. Pancake was a lobster.

learning her numbers past ten

2010-10-15T13:19:00.000-04:00

Me: seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, TWENTY!
Pancake: twenty-one . . .

I could write ten cute Pancake quotes a day

2010-10-12T09:53:00.001-04:00

This is turning into a kid quote/update blog.

Pancake and Doodle were watching an episode of Curious George, which, admittedly they've seen numerous times, in which George is told to count how many eggs are in the fridge. There are no eggs and he doesn't know what to write. As he stands there with the notebook and pencil in his hands Pancake yells, "He should write zero!"

On the highline in NYC, Oct. 2nd.

Doodle and me overlooking a street on the highline.

Mr. D and Doodle -- same place, same day.

Pancake's 9-word sentence

2010-10-04T15:04:00.002-04:00

This morning Pancake pulled an empty juice box out of the garbage and said, "That's Doodle's apple juice, I want Pancake's apple juice." Even though the kids don't normally have juice boxes, she was so cute asking that I had to go downstairs and get her her own juice box.

Both kids are sick with runny noses and fevers. Doodle stayed home from school today after a 101 fever last night. Pancake's started this afternoon after a three-hour morning nap.

18 months

2010-09-30T09:25:00.003-04:00

Pancake has found her screaming voice and has opinions about everything. She's become a picky eater (though not every day). She eats cereal and milk every morning and sometimes again for lunch or a snack. She uses the spoon herself and though she still spills milk onto her chest she's getting better at using it. She started referring to herself by her name and identifying things that are hers or her brothers. "That's Pancake's water. That's Doodle's water. That's Daddy's beer."

Her temper has reared its ugly head. If she wants something that I won't let her have or if Doodle takes something from her she screams, "NO NO NO NO!" If you recall Doodle at this age he didn't have tantrums like that. If I, or one of his peers, took something away from him he would just play with something else. I used to bother me that he didn't stick up for himself, but I think I would rather have that mellow attitude than Pancake's screaming fits. At least I know she won't be a push over.

She gets into everything. We went to the fabric store to buy materials for Doodle's Halloween costume (he's going to be the Phillie Phanatic) and she found the low-to-the-ground candy, opened the Rolos and was eating one of them when I found her. Why was she not securely in the cart or a stroller? Because she refused to sit. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get what she wants. That's not to say that I let her do whatever she wants.

Her language skills are unbelievable. She speaks in phrases and sentences. She has learned the art that Doodle learned early on, how to use other words to explain herself if I can't make out what she's trying to say.

She loves to be read to and often flips through her books by herself, talking as if she's reading them. She knows the names (or has her own names) for her favorite books. She can follow directions well. She doesn't always say every number, but she can count to ten. She's getting better with her colors. She sometimes says green for blue, but usually she gets them right. The other day when she and Doodle were coloring she wanted me to get her the brown crayon. Only brown would do. I was having trouble finding any brown crayon, but she kept insisting on it until I finally came up with a broken light brown crayon -- like I said, she knows what she wants.

Despite her tantrums, she's a delightful toddler. It's hard to believe that she's not a baby any more. Her cute voice is so adorable I find myself smiling and kissing her countless times during our days together. With Doodle in school five mornings a week, we're spending more quality time just the two of us, which is great. Needless-to-say, she will always be our baby girl.

Both of these were taken on Sunday, Sept. 26th in Center City.

Pancake quote

2010-09-29T09:12:00.001-04:00

Pancake scribbled on a piece of paper and handed to me, "here Mommy."
"Oh, Pancake, that's beautiful."
"It's cake."
"It's cake?"
"Yes, please.

First day of Pre-K

2010-09-08T09:49:00.003-04:00

Doodle started Pre-K today. Drop-off went well this morning. He didn't show any signs of anxiety or unusual shyness -- just the normal amount of shyness that he has all the time.

17 months

2010-09-07T12:56:00.002-04:00

Pancake is at that wonderful age where her voice is incredibly sweet and she’s using it all the time. Her vocabulary is out of control. She expresses herself in complete sentences sometimes and articulate phrases the rest of the time. We stayed at my brother’s house for two nights and he and his wife have a dog named Cooper. Pancake didn’t fear Cooper, in fact they touched tongues once. When Cooper got a little too close to her without her permission she would tap her chest and say, “No eat Cooper,” or “No dinner Cooper,” meaning that he was not to make her his dinner. It was adorable.

She prefers to walk than to be carried. She’s still a little unsteady on her feet but she recovers well and is even starting to conquer uneven terrain and thresholds between rooms. Her hair in pigtails is the cutest thing I’ve seen.
She has been more obedient than her brother lately. When I tell her to put something down or not to touch something she will do as I ask. She plays baseball in the yard with Doodle and Mr. D. She loves it. She holds the too-big-for-her yellow plastic waffle ball bat and slightly moves her entire body to attempt to hit the ball. Then she’ll say either OUT or STRIKE. She yells out PHILLIES when there is any sport on a field (football, baseball, soccer). She likes to sport her pink Phillies hat. She’s still very interested in wearing her shoes or anyone else’s shoes.

She’s learning her colors. She knows green, yellow, white, pink and sometimes blue. She’ll repeat absolutely anything you say even if it’s a multi-syllable word. She’s very polite. One of her favorite things to say is “tank ooo, Mom.” She also says, “sorry” when she’s trying to get by or stepping over something instead of excuse me. When I sneeze she says, “besh ooo.”

Of course, she still adores her big brother. He makes her laugh just by running or hopping around. When she’s upset we can count on Doodle to cheer her up. Doodle can also be rough with her when she’s messing up his train tracks or standing in the middle of the baseball game he’s trying to play with Mr. D. But for the most part he is very good to her and she is good to him too. Watching them play together is incredibly gratifying.

We’re in the car driving home from Vermont as I type this so I will post a picture of Pancake when we get home.

a brand new tractor

2010-08-25T18:47:00.003-04:00

At nearly four and a half, Doodle has finally given up his pacifier! The exclamation point is both to express excitement that Doodle is pacifier-free AND to express disbelief that our 4 1/2-year old was still using a pacifier.

He got to pick out any toy he wanted and he chose a John Deere bright shiny green tractor. He loves it and he's been sleeping fine without it.

FINALLY!

Blue

2010-08-22T12:42:00.002-04:00

I have reached a place (the same place I was when Doodle was the same age as Pancake) where I am tired, bored or depressed 95% of the time. My psyche is just not into parenting these days. I'm perpetually tired. I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment, but alas, Doodle doesn't nap any more so taking a nap of my own is out of the question. Yesterday, I was driving home from the store and Pancake was very tired. I thought for sure that she would fall asleep in the car and take a much needed cat nap before dinner, but I was the one who felt like sleeping. She and Doodle laughed and played in the back seat. I called Mr. D and he met us at our local Mexican restaurant for an early dinner since Pancake wasn't going to sleep.

I am also sick of doing the same activities with my kids day after day, week after week. I really don't feel like playing Candy Land or Thomas Uno or Play-Doh any more. This week we went to the zoo, for the fourth or fifth time this summer, which doesn't sound like a lot, but when I think about what needs to be done for a trip to the zoo it makes me not want to go. I have to pack lunches for the kids (I usually don't bother with one for me because that's just more things I have to do), waters for the three of us, sunscreen the children, remember the back pack carrier so Pancake can see the animals without getting in and out of the stroller, and still try to get there relatively early so we don't have to park super far away and end up walking in the hot, sticky sun. I think because I'm also tired and depressed the thought of loading everything up for a two-hour trip to the zoo is too daunting.

The blues I have are most likely directly related to the first two problems. The tired-bored-depressed combination is a bad one. And I don't really see an end in sight. I'm not ready to go back to work with Pancake still so young and even if I wanted to do I have no idea what I would do. One would think that Doodle starting pre-K next month (5 days/week until 12:00) would offer some relief, but getting him to school by 8:30 and caring for Pancake and trying to keep up my morning yoga-running routine is stressful. And while Doodle is at school Pancake will be home with me not napping (she takes one nap in the afternoon), and Pancake is the one who is more demanding of the two. She plays by herself, but only for short periods. Then we'll pick up
Doodle from school and Pancake will take a nap. Maybe I'll get Doodle into an afternoon TV-watching habit rather than in the morning.

Story by Doodle

2010-08-18T15:33:00.003-04:00

Ball and this boy can play together nicely. Then a pile of snakes came along and stopped the game and messed it up. Then a line of rhinos came along and put their feet on the snakes. The End.

16 months

2010-07-31T20:10:00.007-04:00

Pancake is a walking talking machine. She was discharged from physical therapy last week. She has been walking since she was 14 months and has continued to improve her balance and speed. She can navigate uneven terrain and even picks up some speed at times.

She adores Doodle more than ever. She loves playing ball and trains with him, really she loves anything he's doing.

She has a bit of a sweet tooth, just like everyone else in her family. We recently cut puffs and graham crackers from her diet because she was refusing all other food (bananas, Cheerios, peaches etc. . .). She whined a bit the first few days but has since rekindled her love of healthy breakfast foods. She knows where some things are kept and helps herself to the food items on the bottom shelf of the pantry cupboard (picture below of her eating corn flakes out of the box).

People have been asking me if she and Doodle are different or more similar. I have to say it's a bit of both. They are different in that Doodle was a calm, even-keeled, go-with-the-flow baby and Pancake is anything but. She takes after her mother. She wants things the way she wants them and gets cranky when someone tells her differently. She has taken to thrusting her head back and whining loudly if I take her from an activity she wants to do and throws herself on the floor if I direct her away from something she's trying to get to.They're also different in that it took Doodle until age two or later to figure out some things that Pancake can figure out now. I'm trying to think of an example but nothing is coming to mind at the moment. It's something I've observed though. Pancake eats a lot more sugary foods than Doodle was ever allowed to eat because she sees her brother eating ice cream or cookies and I think it mean to not let her have what she sees others enjoying. Sometimes we take her into the living room some while Doodle has dessert.

But she and Doodle are quite similar too. They both love to eat and will try just about anything, they both use the pacifier to help them sleep (the use of the present tense was not an error -- Doodle still sleeps with a pacifier), they both charm strangers wherever we go, and they both are pretty daring on the playground equipment. They also both go to bed very well and sleep through the night reliably, both of which I truly appreciate. They're both super cute, too.

She's been clingy to me lately, which is annoying when I'm trying to cut vegetables with a sharp knife or take a heavy pan out of the oven. I've been prepping dinner while she naps in the afternoon, which I don't always have time to do.

Pancake's vocabulary and verbal skills are soaring to new heights all the time. Occasionally she says four and five-word sentences and often conveys two and three-word sentences. Mr. D gets up with her in the mornings if she wakes before 7:00, which is most of the time, and has taught her to raise one hand and say "me" when asked, "Who loves Mommy?" or "Who loves Daddy?" One morning Mr. D forgot their newly established routine of asking and answering, so Pancake said, "Who loves Mommy? ME!" with her cute little arm raised.

She insisted on wearing my grandmother's necklace.

Doodle quote

2010-07-25T17:04:00.002-04:00

Raul is on third, Jimmy on first. One out. Mr. D had not said a word.
Doodle: "Squeeze him Placido."

For those of you who know baseball this should make perfect sense.

This heat is killing me

2010-07-23T15:51:00.003-04:00

Our house does not have central air. When we look for a new house central A/C is going to be a priority of mine. It didn't use to matter that much because we had these enormous old trees across the street that kept our house fairly cool in the summer. But our wonderful neighbor sold his property for a song to some awesome builders who took every tree down. Now our house is hot and sticky.

Getting the kids in their bathing suits, slathering them with sunscreen and packing up the towels, waters, snacks and diapers is so unappealing that it's hard to motivate myself to go to the pool or the spray ground near us. And going for a walk is out of the question unless it's before 8:00 a.m. or after 8:00 p.m.
We have window A/Cs in several rooms (the kids' bedrooms, our room and the family room on the second floor) but I could only contain the kids in the family room for so long. They don't seem as bothered by the heat as I am. In fact, Doodle said he wanted to stay home and play trains instead of go to the spray ground this afternoon. Great!

We're going to our friends' house for dinner who have A/C so that will be a great relief. I don't know what I'm going to do if this heat wave lasts much longer!

At the spray ground

Dropped the ball

2010-07-17T09:15:00.002-04:00

I have not given my blog the attention it deserves these past few months. Life seems so hectic. When I have a moment, usually at the very end of the day, I just want to watch Entourage or something I've recorded and lay on the sofa with Mr. D.

We've also either been away or had guests at the house every weekend this summer, this weekend excepted. Last weekend my brother, sister-in-law and their dog were here. It was great to visit with them and spend some quality time that didn't include my brother working on our house or simultaneously visiting with my parents. We went to the Phillies game on Sunday. It was the first game that Doodle stayed for the whole thing (they won 1-0).

The beginning of last week we were in Lancaster County for a mini vacation. We stayed at a great hotel, the Bird In Hand Family Inn, which had three pools (one outdoor, two indoor), mini golf, ping pong, pool (which Doodle kept calling water because he couldn't remember that it was called pool), tennis, basketball and a restaurant. We had a great time visiting the National Toy Train Museum, which both kids really enjoyed. We pet and fed lots of animals, visited the Wilbur Chocolate Factory, ate good food and shopped a bit. Doodle and Pancake loved seeing the farms and the horses and buggies everywhere. It was a relaxing mini vaca. We'll definitely stay there again.

Yesterday, we went to a lake that normally takes about an hour and ten minutes to get to, but yesterday it took two hours because there was an alleged accident, of which I saw no evidence other than the extreme traffic. The kids and I had a great time playing in the water and digging in the sand. Pancake has no fear of the water despite her general timidity. She put her face in because Doodle put his face in. She wanted me to let go of her when we were in water way over her head. She didn't want to sit in my lap or between my legs in the shallow water so I sat her in even more shallow water and she was perfectly happy finding milfoil and splashing around. She would eventually scoot herself into deeper water and I would have to keep moving her back toward shore. Doodle had a new pair of goggles. He loved being able to see the bottom of the lake. He has become quite the water bug this summer. He goes in by himself with swimmies on his arms and doesn't mind being over his head.

When it was time to leave the lake Doodle got into a mood, refused to listen and ignored my demands to take off his swimmies and bathing suit, stop playing ball, stop playing with sticks, stop telling our two-year old friend to play with the sticks, put on his shoes. I had to walk him up the hill holding tightly to his wrist and sometimes dragging his limp body to the changing room so that I could put on dry clothing. Once dressed I sternly escorted him to the car. Because he refused to put on his shoes even after I warned him that the pavement in the parking lot would be very hot, I had to carry him the last few yards to the car. There he took his suit off and I got him dressed. I left him in the car, with the windows open, but buckled in his seat while I went back to the lake to get Pancake and the rest of our stuff. My friend was watching her while I dealt with Doodle. He had to sit in time out when we got home and I had a long talk with him in the car and again this morning about listening. I really can not stand Doodle's defiant phases. He makes me so angry.

It has been super hot and my energy levels are lower than usual. I find it hard to care for the children all day, make a meal for dinner, clean or at least straighten up the house and still be in a good mood.

Reading!

2010-06-29T16:09:00.003-04:00

Last night Doodle wasn't tired enough to fall asleep but it was 8:00 and we had finished his bed time routine. He said he wanted to read some books in bed, which he occasionally does. Usually this means he looks at the pictures of the books on his bookshelf and turns out the light when he's ready to sleep. But last night I gave him Bear Snores On to look at and two Easy Reader books that he got for his birthday. I said he could try reading those by himself.

I came downstairs and had dessert with Mr. D. While I was checking my email Doodle came downstairs for the sole purpose of having me put him back to bed! When I put him back to bed he said that he had read the two Easy Reader books. I asked him to show me. We laid on his bed together and he read one and then the other. Sounding out words like they do on Sesame Street and Between the Lions. Identifying words that recurred a lot, and, a, an. I was so impressed and proud and happy. He literally taught himself how to read. I went and told Mr. D who came into Doodle's room to experience our little reader himself. Doodle read the two books to him with more ease, having already read them twice. He was so proud of himself and we were proud of him, too.

This morning he tried another book and read that one too. He's still working on it but he's trying and succeeding! It really is incredible watching my children grow and develop. It's truly a wonderful experience. . . most of the time.

15 months

2010-06-29T15:28:00.005-04:00

Pancake is talking and saying tens of new words. She babbles holding the phone to her head (not aligned at all with her ear). She has a cadence that sounds just like an adult on the phone, she's just not using actual words -- at least not ones I understand. There as been construction across the street from our house for more than a month now. Whenever Pancake hears banging she points outside and says, "ouse." She doesn't pronounce the H of any word: at for hat; ot, for hot; ouse for house. She continues to string two and three words together: want cheese, see that?, Doodle see that?. When I ask her if she wants something she'll either shake her head very quickly and says a short "no" or bop her whole body up and down and occasionally say es for yes, smiling the whole time, of course. She's very communicative, which I appreciate.

She started WALKING!!! She will now take from 4 to 10 steps by herself completely unassisted. She also stands up by herself in the middle of a room without the support of a piece of furniture or a human leg. She sticks her butt into the air with her feet and hands on the floor, then she slowly lifts her hands and straightens her legs and ta-da she's standing. She usually claps for herself at that point and sometimes falls back down from all the clapping vibrations before she can take a step. She can also turn herself around while standing unassisted -- as opposed to walking in a straight line in the direction she has found herself. She rarely scoots on her butt, opting to crawl around, quite well now I must say. Her physical therapist is coming tomorrow, but I don't think we'll need her assistance any longer. Walking before 15 months is a gross motor milestone that Pancake has met. My baby girl!
She's become a little picky in the eating department. She favors sweet things to savory, which, I realize, is normal among children, but she was eating veggies and grains very well and now pushes the carrots away and points to the fruit basket saying peach peach. I know, I can't really blame her, it's just hard to watch that transition. But since I know she has it in her to eat non-sweet foods I'm going to assume that she'll go back to her better eating habits at some point.

She's sleeping 12 hours a night without interruption which I LOVE! She's down to one nap during the day, but it's usually pretty long -- 2.5 to 3.5 hours.
She's been a bit clingy lately. She says Mommy frequently when she can't see me. She used to be thrilled to see Mr. Doodle in the mornings when he went to get her from her crib, but now she looks disappointed, puts her head back down and says Mommy. But Mr. Doodle's charm wins her over quickly and she's perfectly happy to be rescued, even if it is Daddy. That said, when Mr. D gets home from work she doesn't try to hide her elation screaming Daddy Daddy Daddy and putting her arms out to have him rescue her from me!

She is just starting to be interested in the shape sorters we have. She's not that good at it yet, but I can see her potential. She shoves the circle into the square hole with gusto over and over and then hands it to me to show her where it goes.

It's so cute to watch her concentrate on reading her books. She loves to take the books off her bookshelf and look through each one, pointing and babbling. Sometimes she doesn't make any noise but has a discerning look in her eye.

She continues to thin out with all the standing and walking she's been doing, but she still has rolly legs and a protruding belly, and chubby cheeks. She still has that baby look. I'll be sad when she starts to resemble a toddler. She's adorable as ever.

Outer Banks

2010-06-22T11:38:00.004-04:00

We went on a five-day trip to the Outer Banks to stay with friends of ours who have a house there. Doodle has overcome his fear of the ocean, for now anyway. He wanted to boogie board like his six-year old friend and rode the "waves" after they broke. Pancake took her first real steps and has been practicing walking short distances ever since. On the way back home we went over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel which was amazing. It's about 16 miles of bridge then tunnel then bridge then tunnel . . . You can't see land until you're at the very end of it. It was crazy and so cool, definitely the highlight of the drive home. Not surprisingly, the Philadelphia part of the drive was the worst. I think I'll take this opportunity to say to the Philly Streets Department: if you're going to close an exit ramp you should alert drivers before they make the turn so they can take a much more efficient alternate route!
Despite the traffic and the detours we had a great time on our vacation. We went to the beach every day, played mini golf, rode bikes, showered outside (my favorite part), and drank.

One of the nice things about coming home after being away is the kids play with their toys again as if they were new.

Doodle quote

2010-06-02T19:26:00.003-04:00

Me: You can have either ice cream or a piece of candy for dessert.
Doodle: I'll have a bowl of ice cream with a candy sticked on top.

I have to add some stats to Pancake's 14-month update. She held up her foot yesterday and said, "that's a foot." Then she looked at the trees across the street and said, "that's a tree." Then tonight at dinner she insisted over and over, "wan wawoo" (translation: I want water). It took me quite a few tries until I understood what she was saying. She also regularly says, "bye bye Daddy" and "bye bye Doodle."

E - F - G

2010-06-01T09:41:00.003-04:00

Pancake pointed to the alphabet poster in her room and said, very clearly, E - F - G to the tune of the song. She also pointed at the wall of letters that Doodle made at school and said, W.

14 months

2010-05-31T14:28:00.002-04:00

Pancake is getting so big! She is thinning out and growing taller. She is starting to walk holding just one adult hand. She is more comfortable on her feet and more steady. In her own time she'll be walking unassisted. She also started crawling randomly. She prefers to crawl than scoot now.

She likes to feed herself with a spoon but she makes an incredible mess so I don't really let her do it. She has a bit of a temper now. If she wants to do something like feed herself, or play with a particular toy and she can't or I won't let her she throws the toy in outrage and whines throwing her head back. Doodle was much more easy going. When other kids would take toys away from him he would just find another toy to play with (he doesn't do this any more, but when he was younger he did). Pancake is already making it known to her big brother that he can't get in her face or grab things away from her.

She is still an extremely pleasant baby. She smiles at strangers where ever we go and they just eat it up. She has many more words, like hat, dadad (grandad), meow, apple. She says two and three word phrases on occasion. Lately she's been saying my daddy and my mommy. I don't know where that comes from. I know she doesn't understand the concept of a pronoun yet.

She is quite a good eater. She will sometimes pick around certain foods, but for the most part she eats whatever I give her. She's good at eating big chunks of food too. She chews really well and forces the bigger pieces down her throat without my having to interfere.

She's more adorable than ever. She loves going to get Doodle at school. She has a wide smile across her face whenever she sees him. She loves to splash in the bath and doesn't mind a bit when I pour water over her head to rinse out the shampoo. She has a good amount of hair now. The back is curly and long when you stretch it out. She's such a cutie pie.

pictures for my mom

2010-05-26T09:51:00.004-04:00

Wearing Doodle's sunglasses

In their new summer PJs

See my foot? See the Cheerios half chewed in my mouth?

Off to a great start

2010-05-26T09:35:00.002-04:00

Today when I was shaving my legs in the shower I heard a bang and glass shattering on the bathroom floor. Pancake had grabbed the candle off the window sill. I stopped the water, got out of the shower and tried to keep Pancake out of the way without stepping on glass myself. I cleaned up what I thought was most of it until Pancake handed me a huge piece of jagged-edged glass. I wasn't wearing my contacts and couldn't really see all of it. Luckily, Pancake didn't get hurt. I scooted her out of the bathroom and finished shaving my legs.

These kinds of distractions/incidents happen frequently around here making it difficult to get anything meaningful finished. Doodle has been in a terrible behavior phase -- destroying things on purpose, ruining books, throwing toys into the neighbor's yard, etc. . .

I haven't been writing because there really hasn't been anything interesting enough to write about.

some new pictures

2010-05-07T10:01:00.007-04:00

At Mother's Day tea at Doodle's school. It was very cute. All the kids in the school sang five songs about how much their mothers mean to them. It was adorable.

Eating ice cream cones.

Running home during last week's t-ball game.

Batting practice before the game. Nice form eh?

13 months

2010-05-03T19:59:00.002-04:00

I just re-read my post for Pancake's birthday and realized that she has changed so much in the past month. She walks while I (or Mr. D) hold her hands. She can cruise around a table but prefers to stand there and whine for someone to hold her hands to walk to whatever she's after. She has pulled herself up twice in the past week. She's making big strides toward walking independently.

She tries to put on her own socks and shoes by holding up her foot and limply touching her shoe/sock to it. Tonight after their bath she tried to put socks on Doodle. She babbles like crazy and says many many new words every day (sometimes only once). She knows the colors blue, orange and green. This afternoon I went into her room when she was in her crib and asked what happened to her pacifier. She promptly pointed through the exact slats she had dropped it through. Of course it wasn't out the side of the crib facing the room it was the side against the wall. So I had to remove the boxes of diapers and wipes under the crib and get on my belly to reach it.

She scoots over to the cabinet where we keep most of our food, takes out the box of graham crackers, opens it, opens the bag inside and helps herself to a snack. She's done this three times now. She enjoys rooting through my diaper bag and pulling out items, playing with them, then going back for more goodies.

She calls "daddy" throughout the day. I repeatedly tell her that he's at work. Sometimes Doodle answers for me. She loves books. She turns the pages (which she's done for a while) and has favorite books. This morning I was reading a book that she didn't want to hear so she closed it. I thought she may have unintentionally closed it so I re-opened it and kept reading. She insisted on closing it by whining and closing it tightly keeping her hand on it so I couldn't open it back up. Then she reached for the book she wanted to hear.

She has a baby doll named Penelope. She hugs her, rocks her, swings her in her baby swing and says whee, eats her head and feet, throws her on the floor, hands her to me so I can be her mommy too. If you ask Pancake where Penelope is she either points to her or scoots to get her.

In addition to the sounds that dogs and cows make she now does snake. There is a snake on the bottom of the curtains in her room and when I'm rocking her to sleep she'll take out her pacifier so she can say "sssss." She looks older too and I think she's starting to lose some of her belly now that she is moving around more. I'll try to find a representative picture to paste below.

I just browsed through my pictures and the last one taken of her was at the beginning of April. I am going to have to be better about photographing her. Poor second child.

My father

2010-04-25T16:45:00.002-04:00

My father is staying with us again. Today he made oatmeal while the rest of us had cold cereal. He said he wanted to come to the grocery store with Pancake and me so he tagged along with the whole family (we dropped off Doodle and Mr. D at a birthday party for one of his school friends). I was squeezed between the kids' car seats in the back. When we got home we discovered that my dad had left the door open -- not just unlocked but totally open -- and the gas burner was still on from when he made oatmeal in the morning (we got home at 4:30 p.m.!). As if the emotional burden of having him live with us isn't hard enough now he is making the mistakes of a senile man. Luckily, our house wasn't robbed and didn't explode while we were gone.

I have been remiss -- and busy

2010-04-20T09:20:00.003-04:00

I haven't written in a while. I have been busy taking both my children to the doctor for various symptoms at varying times. I have been busy doing tons of laundry and trying to keep up with the mess that is my house. I have been busy organizing our neighbors to do what we can to prevent new houses from being built across the street from us, and investigating the requirements for permits and zoning.

There are conflicting reports on different city-run websites. Do you have to post your zoning permit on the property you are subdividing or not? What is the expiration time on a zoning permit (1 year, 3 years, none)? And what happens if two years pass and you haven't done anything with the land you subdivided? Do you have to get another permit?

I have been busy preparing for an interview for a job I'm not sure I want. I bombed the interview yesterday so the question (whether to work full time or not) is likely moot. If I don't get the job I can stay home full time with my children for a while longer, which I will be glad about.

I have been busy playing baseball with Doodle. He is on a t-ball team now. He had his first game on Friday and did well. It was really cute to see him on a team with other four-year olds. they have shirts with the team's name and a number on the back (Doodle is #3) and hats. They wore batting helmets that made them look like bobble heads. They each had a chance to hit and field the ball in each inning (they only played two innings). Some kids hit the ball off the tee then ran after the ball, fielding their own hit. Some kids just stood there after they hit the ball only running after one of the coaches told them to run to first base pointing to another coach who was the first baseman. It was a lot of fun and really really cute. I forgot to bring my camera so I don't have any pictures of this cuteness, but my friend took some pictures of Doodle for us. Now I just have to remember to email him to get them.

Happy 4th birthday

2010-04-05T21:29:00.004-04:00

Doodle is now four years old. How did that happen? Four years. The sheer amount of change that he has undergone in these four years is breathtaking. The cognitive development, social maturity and physical growth of my baby boy have been amazing to experience. Being a mother continues to be challenging and rewarding and nerve-racking and fun all at the same time. Doodle asks questions like, "Do you know what lying is, Mom?"
"Yes. Do you?"
"Yea, it's when your mom tells you she'll take you to the playground and then doesn't."
"Huh. That's not a lie if the mom meant to take the kid but then didn't because the kid was misbehaving and had to be punished."

Doodle has made his own definitions for gender-typing. Boys can like pink and purple, but girls shouldn't like blue because "that's a boy color." He often tells me, even when I haven't said the offending phrases, "It's not good to say Jesus Christ or God Dammit."

Mr. D took Friday and today off for an extra long weekend. Today was opening day for the Phillies and Mr. D and Doodle watched the game together. After what seemed like a long off-season Doodle is back into the baseball lingo after just one game. The Phillies won 11 to 1 against the Nationals. After the game Doodle ran around the yard "making the calls" of the imaginary game he was playing by himself. I could hear him saying, "and he's rounding second . . . the manager came out and said, 'no, that WAS a double play' . . . Ryan makes a hit, it's outta here, two-run home run for Ryan Howard . . ." He's hilarious.

He's very sweet to his sister most of the time. With sincerity he told her at dinner tonight, "sorry honey, there isn't any more bananas." He asks where she is when she's not around, he was genuinely concerned for her when she was having to go to the doctor's office a lot for her VUR.

He's come into his own when socializing with his friends and even some kids he doesn't know that well. He will now speak up if he's being pushed around or if someone suggests doing something he doesn't want to do, or takes a toy from him. He still seems to be more of a follower than a leader, but he's still so young that might change in the future. He certainly acts like the leader when he's with Mr. D and me. He has spent many hours in time out or his room for showing his independence and pushing the limits. He seems to enjoy school. He talks about his school friends on days when he doesn't go to school and he's quite proud of all of the artwork he brings home -- and it's a lot of artwork.

He goes to bed easily for us and rarely wakes during the night. When he wakes up in the morning he comes up to our bedroom to lay with us and cuddle. Then he watches a show on PBS, lately he's been on a Curious George kick. He's a pretty good eater still, but he has a sweet tooth. Over the past two months he has often asked, "did I eat enough to have dessert?"

He still plays with his trains, but they aren't as central to his being as they once were. We took out two Thomas DVDs from the library and he didn't watch either one, not even once. I returned them and we haven't taken out anything else since.
He loves to read (look through books on his own) and be read to. He points to words and asks what they say, sometimes he'll sound them out himself -- sometimes successfully, sometimes not. If it's a three letter word he'll get it right pretty reliably, four letters most of the time -- cat, ball, hop, bat, dog, west, etc . . . He surprised Mr. D and I the other day when I said that I had changed three diapers that day and Mr. D chimed in that he had changed two. Doodle said, "that means Pancake pooped five times today." I didn't know he was working on simple math in his head.

I know some day I will miss these days when my sweet boy still wants to cuddle with me, often tells me he loves me, actually wants to carry the garbage bag out to the can on the side of the house, is made happy by simply trying to execute three consecutive skips down the sidewalk. He's a good, sweet, intelligent boy and he brings me a lot of joy.

Happy Birthday Pancake

2010-03-31T15:43:00.003-04:00

Pancake had her first pancake for breakfast this morning, at Doodle's request. She had her first piece of cake on Saturday at her (and Doodle's) birthday party. It's hard to believe that my precious little newborn baby is one! I am looking forward to the year ahead. I loved ages one to three with Doodle and knowing what I know about Pancake's personality she'll be a wonderful delightful toddler. We just have to get to the toddling phase! She has physical therapy once a week for an hour and still doesn't crawl, pull herself up or cruise around the furniture. In due time I'm sure she'll be running around after her big brother.

Pancake has been through many medical tests and countless doctor visits over the past two months and she smiled through most of it. She's been catheterized three times already in short life and there will be more (in a year from now for sure and possibly before then if an UTI is expected). Her spirits are better than ever now that she's been diagnosed and is on an antibiotic (she's infection-free now and we're hoping she'll stay that way).

Her personality is so sunny and happy and delightful. When she laughs that good hardy belly laugh it's contagious. She's just so damn adorable. A year ago it was hard to imagine loving someone else as much as I love Doodle, but as all parents of multiple children know, you just do. You grow as much love as children you have.

When I was pregnant with Pancake I would have been happy if she turned out to be a boy or a girl. I really and truly didn't have a preference. But now that we know she's a girl I'm really happy to have one of each gender. I'm happy to be able to experience raising a boy and a girl. And I have a brother and really like growing up with a brother, so I'm glad Pancake and Doodle will have each other to grow up with.
Pancake has been doing some pretty cute things lately. She LOVES bananas and nana is one of her words (one of twelve or thirteen), but for fear of constipation I usually only let her have one "nana" a day and Mr. D usually gives it to her in the morning for her first breakfast (first of three). When I have her she points to the bananas and says "nana." And I reply, "no more bananas today, Pancake, how about ____" fill in the blank. So now she points to the bananas, says nana, while lowering her head, raising her eyes and shaking her head no. It is really cute to see. She repeats it a few times and then moves on to something else.

She used to just say thank you when she wanted to play pass items back and forth, but now she says it whenever I give her something whether it's a toy or a piece of bread or any food. She's still a great eater, though she did go through a rough patch where she hardly ate anything when she had the UTI and numerous ear infections one after the other. She leans her head in and says aaahh when you ask for a kiss or a hug.

She hasn't nursed for more than a week so I guess we're finished. She skipped two feedings after I jumped and said "no Pancake" when she clamped down on my nipple with her sharp new teeth. Then I got her to nurse a few more times and then she just stopped all together. She turns her head and clearly wants nothing to do with my milk. I've pumped a bit to decrease my supply slowly, but I don't think I even need to do that any more. I was sad for a few days because I wasn't ready to wean her, but if she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. For the past week she's had whole milk and water. She's been drinking quite a bit from a sippy cup so I think she's staying hydrated.
She's playing more with Doodle. They roll the ball back and forth, Doodle tickles her and she laughs uncontrollably. She loves following him up the stairs (with my help). She dances when music comes on and sings the ABC song a little bit. She stands at her play table and makes the instruments play. She loves playing basketball with our toy net and ball. Mr. D holds Pancake and she puts the ball through the hoop. Doodle makes Mr. D keep score for all three of them, which can get confusing.

She recognizes and shows she understands many many words. Some examples: she touches her feet when I say, let's put on your shoes or socks, she can point to people's noses when asked, she combs her own hair and brushes her own teeth (one of the top ones is poking through the gum now with the other top one coming soon), she looks for her spoon on the floor when I say, where is your spoon?, she recognizes outside, bath, splash, water, Cheerios, graham crackers, many other foods, and many other words I won't bother typing here.

She says about 11 words. I'll try to remember them all now:
Daddy
Mama
Doodle (really cute version of his real name)
eat (almost always while pointing to her mouth)
thank you
uh ohbye bye
nana
kiss
mmm (for cow)
woof woof (for dog)

I've heard her say fish once and a friend heard her say eye once while pointing to her eye. But she hasn't said either one since so I don't count them.

She gets scared and cries when there are loud sudden noises or actions near her (just like most kids, including Doodle), like a dog barking or a cat jumping toward her. She's not afraid to have water poured over her head in the bath, she laughs when Doodle splashes her in the tub, she finds it amusing to be bullied by her brother. For the most part she's pretty tough. She also is already showing signs of being a girly girl. She loves her pretty pink shoes with flowers on them. The other day Mr. D got her dressed putting socks on her. He wasn't going to put her shoes on. Pancake held up her pretty pink shoes and said "eh eh" for him to put them on.

She's our sweet baby girl and I feel so lucky to have her in our family. Happy birthday, Pancake. I love you.

pancake, oh, pancake

2010-03-24T10:47:00.002-04:00

Well, Pancake will indeed be on an antibiotic for at least one year. Then we get another VCUG to see if she still has VUR. If she does, then she stays on the antibiotic for another year and we do the same thing a year from then. She had to have another catheter put in yesterday at the pediatrician's office to determine if her urine is infected again. It is not.

Pancake hasn't nursed since Saturday afternoon. I guess she's just finished, just like that! I'm not ready, emotionally or physically. I have pumped three times since Sunday trying to wean my milk supply. I hate pumping. I gave Pancake some pumped milk in a sippy cup yesterday but she only drank a small amount. She's getting her top two teeth and I think that's why she isn't interested in the breast.

Her physical therapy continues. She has a session this afternoon. She's not crawling or willing to roll over. She's starting to show some interest in pulling herself up and she helps a little more now when I try to get her to climb the stairs.

Through it all (except for the medical testing) she has a smile on her face. She's such a good girl. I feel badly that she's having such a rough time right now.

Pancake's VCUG results

2010-03-22T14:05:00.003-04:00

Today, as a result of Pancake's UTI, she had an ultrasound on her kidneys and bladder, and a VCUG (they insert a catheter then fill her bladder with fluid and take pictures to see if the fluid goes up toward the kidneys or back out of her body the way it's supposed to). She cried and screamed during both procedures. Her ultrasound was normal. Her kidneys are the right size and shape for her age.

The VCUG revealed that she has what's called vesicoureteral reflux, or VUR, on one of her ureters (the tube connecting the kidney and bladder). The reflux is rated on a scale of one to five (one being the least severe, five the worst), Pancake's reflux is a two, which isn't too bad. It has a chance of spontaneously resolving itself, but she has to be on antibiotics for the foreseeable future. There's also a chance she'll have to have surgery to correct the problem. We have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with Pancake's pediatrician where we'll find out more information. For now I have to start her on Amoxicillin AGAIN and she'll be on it for some time.

My poor baby girl. I know things could be worse, but I'm really feeling for my sweet Pancake right now.

a coincidence or something more?

2010-03-18T10:21:00.002-04:00

Pancake finished her Suprax on Tuesday night. Last night (Wednesday) she threw up in her crib and then again after I nursed her. She's been pulling on her left ear again. Then this morning after keeping down four breastmilk feedings she had a saltine cracker and promptly pooped. She's asleep in her crib now.

I hope she just picked up a virus and doesn't have such a weak immune system that she can't fight off bacteria without being on an antibiotic. She had an ear infection, went on amoxicillin, the second day after she finished the drug she had a UTI and ANOTHER ear infection. She went on Suprax. Was off of it for one day and was throwing up in her crib and pulling on her ear. I really hope this is just a coincidence and that we're headed for a healthy spring and summer.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go to CHOP to have an ultrasound on her kidneys and a catheter put in to check for urine reflux. Then her follow up appointment with her pediatrician is on Tuesday.

My poor baby girl.

Sickly child?

2010-03-09T13:27:00.002-05:00

Pancake and I spent our Sunday at the emergency room at CHOP. She had been cranky for a few days and then Sunday morning she was inconsolable. She cried/screamed for four hours with a short half hour break to sleep in her stroller. Mr. D took her for a walk to calm her down. At the ER they said she still had a fever (this was day five of having an on-and-off fever). They thought she might have a blood infection so they took some blood and gave her an IV of fluid in case she was dehydrated.

She was so sleepy and cranky and irritable. She just laid on me. CHOP is so great. Before the nurse put in the needle (which had the circumference of a piece of thread) she wrapped warm packs around Pancakes hands and wrists to get the vein to come to the surface so she wouldn't have to poke around to find it. She inserted the minuscule needle, drew two vials of blood and hooked up the IV. Then she taped up her hand and wrapped a hard felt thing around her so she wouldn't pull the needle out. The blood work came back normal.

Then they gave her a catheter to check for a urinary track infection. She didn't mind the catheter as much as the needle. The urine showed a high white blood cell count so they assumed she has a UTI. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic (this will be her third round since she was born!) and we were discharged. Luckily we didn't have to spend the night.

Mr. D and Doodle had come to the hospital with my toothbrush and a change of clothes in case I had to stay there, but the doctor gave me the good news just as they were arriving. Mr. D and Doodle had tickets to Sesame Street Live that a neighbor had given them so they took the car to the show after they dropped Pancake and I off at the train station. We took the train and then walked home. It was our only outside time on that gorgeous day.

We had a follow up appointment with Pancake's pediatrician today. She said the culture isn't back yet on the urine so we won't know if she's on the right antibiotic until we find out what type of bacteria caused the infection -- probably tomorrow. Then she proceeded to tell me why having a UTI at 11 months is not that cut and dry. When adults get them they go on an antibiotic and that's it, they're cured. When someone as young as Pancake gets one there are a number of things that may have caused it. The best result would be that some of her poop crept up into the pee area and the bacteria caused an infection. The other two options are: (1) when her urine leaves her kidney it doesn't keep descending to her bladder and then out her body, it sloshes around and goes back up, causing the old urine to become filled with bacteria and then cause an infection, or (2) her kidneys aren't functioning properly. To test for option one they color some fluid and give her another catheter and see where the fluid goes (comes back out or stays inside). To test for option two they give her an ultrasound on her tiny little kidneys to see if they're the right size for her age. If they are, then they're fine. If they're not then I guess we have further tests.

Right now she has another appointment in two weeks with her ped. Then she'll have an appointment six weeks from now to get another urine culture (no catheter this time).

On top of all of this, she's had a cold or a fever for the past month and a half. She had an ear infection about two weeks ago for which she was taking Amoxicillin. The doctor today said that her other ear is infected now and that it's a good thing she's already on Suprax for the UTI! Another ear infection! How can this be? I was always healthy growing up, I am still breastfeeding, Doodle was never this sick. It's disheartening to think that Pancake might be more susceptible to germs and infections. My poor baby girl.

11 months

2010-03-02T09:14:00.003-05:00

With February being a short month it doesn't seem that long ago that I wrote the 10-month update. There isn't much new to add. Pancake has an ear infection and has been generally sick with a cold. We just got back from Vermont last night where we had a great time visiting my mother, brother and sister-in-law. And some high school friends who I hadn't hung out with in a long long time. It was great fun.

Back to Pancake. It turns out she does not have low muscle tone in her legs or elsewhere. She just doesn't want to move. With two rounds of physical therapy under her belt she can now roll over unassisted and occasionally go from sitting to lying on her belly. She is quite good at turning herself around in a circle on her belly or her butt, but still doesn't get on all fours without help. When I put her in that position and rock her she doesn't wait long to put her head and belly back on the floor. We missed her pt session last week because we left for VT early to avoid the big snow storm (which Mr. D ended up driving through in NJ and NY anyway).

Pancake shook her head no once when she didn't want any more Cheerios -- imagine that! not wanting more Cheerios. Maybe she's sick of them finally. She says, mmmm for cow and a similar but more rough sound for dog. She recognizes and points to cats, dogs, pigs, cows and ducks. She really likes to be read to. She is extremely enthusiastic about certain books -- Baby's First Animal Book, Brown Bear Brown Bear, Animal Kisses, Goodnight Moon and Pajama Time.

She continues to devour any morsel of food in her sight, except maybe Cheerios now. Her favorite foods are banana, avocado, Baby Mum Mum crackers and pizza crust. She's a sweet darling girl. I can't believe she's almost one.

huh . . .

2010-02-13T18:55:00.003-05:00

Today Doodle drew an odd shaped oval with some accessories protruding from it on the chalkboard. Mr. D asked him if it was a shark and he said, "no, it's a communal bathtub." No idea where that came from.

An amendment: My aunt told my mother that there is something called a communal bathtub on Spongebob Squarepants. Doodle has never seen that show, but I'm sure a kid or two at his school has seen it. So I asked him, where did you hear about a communal bathtub. Was it someone at school? He said, "not a communal bathtub, a commuter bathtub, like a commuter train!" Aaah, now that makes a lot more sense.

additions to the 10 month post

2010-02-04T11:21:00.003-05:00

There are so many more things that Pancake does that I forgot to include, and I'm sure there will be more that I won't remember to include here.

She has learned how to drink water from a sippy cup. She hides her own face with a towel or her shirt and pulls it down and waits for me to say peek-a-boo! She likes to hand a toy to me, I say thank you in a certain melodic way, then I hand the toy back to her and she imitates the melody of "thank you" without actually saying the words. She imitates other sounds too -- she says bop, clicks her tongue, makes raspberry noises with her lips. She is constantly reaching her hand out and saying dat. She turns the pages of books when we're reading. She also likes to pull all of the books down off the shelf. She throws her toys short distances and regularly throws her pacifier out of the crib and then cries for me to come get it. Luckily, once she gets it back she doesn't continue to throw it.

She only has the pacifier to sleep. And since I'm on the subject, she's a great napper. I always put her down awake and she falls asleep sometimes quickly sometimes not, but almost always without crying. She talks to the animals hanging down from her mobile or to her doll or herself, but she doesn't cry. She goes to bed at night the same way. She takes a morning and afternoon nap, each of which last about two hours. I feel so lucky to have such a good baby.

new Doodle quotes

2010-02-03T09:24:00.004-05:00

Doodle was gathering different sized blocks to put into a box and I said, "How about this one," holding one up. He said, "Yea, that looks like a good candidate."

Last week I came down with a stomach bug and was in bed the entire day on Friday. Mr. D stayed home from work and took care of the children. For dinner he heated up a Trader Joe's frozen pizza and the kids and he were eating at the kitchen table (I was still in bed). Between bites of pizza Doodle asks, "Did Mommy move?"

Believe it or not I still had the wish bone from the Christmas turkey sitting on the window sill above the sink in the kitchen, so yesterday I asked Doodle if he wanted to make a wish and pull it apart with me. He agreed and I explained what to do. I told him not to say out loud what he wished for, so he whispers, "I wish I could help Mommy make dinner every day." It was adorable and so sweet.

Running around our back yard.

Eating pizza on the train coming home from NYC.

10 months

2010-02-01T16:29:00.004-05:00

Pancake is only two months from being one! I can't believe how old she is already. We are able to see more and more of her personality every day. She's such a sweetheart -- smiling at everyone wherever we are. Today we took the bus to and from Center City and she smiled at all of her many fans.

She waves reliably now when you say "Hi Pancake" or "bye bye" or "Pancake, wave your hand." She makes the sign for more when she wants more food, which is always, and also when she wants more of whatever game we're playing (patty cake, wheels on the bus, trot trot to Boston).

She starts physical therapy tomorrow morning. Apparently she has low muscle tone in her legs. She moves across the floor on her butt pretty well and she can push herself backwards with her hands while on her belly. She is great at putting toys into boxes or holes and pulling them back out.

She purposefully drops things on the floor and then declares "uh oh." She gestures her hand toward whatever she wants and says "dat."

Her sleeping has improved a bit, but is still not ideal. She now goes to sleep around 7:00 and wakes up between 4 and 5:30 a.m., I nurse her and then she's up for the day. I usually can't get her back to sleep until about 7:00 a.m. Luckily I have an amazing husband who takes Pancake downstairs for their new routine of eating Cheerios, rolling the ball back and forth, reading books and playing with blocks.

She's eating easier foods to prepare, like pizza crust, crackers, bananas, avocado cut into chunks.

She's a pure delight. Thank goodness we have two really great kids.

why delivery people suck

2010-01-20T15:15:00.002-05:00

Two guys delivered our new refrigerator this morning and took the old one with them to be disposed of properly. They took down my insulation and heavy plastic cover on the front door to fit the new fridge in. Then, for some unexplained and idiotic reason, the senior of the two guys suggests they take the old fridge out the side door -- instead of using the ample opening the front doors created. In order to do this they had to take both doors to our house off the hinges and the doors and wheels and other stuff off the fridge. While trying to squeeze the enormous old fridge out they gouged the wood around the door frame and broke the metal hook that holds the spring to the screen door. None of their efforts were successful and they had to bring the old one out the same door they used to bring the new one in -- which is what they should have done in the first place!

With the back door wide open and unable to be closed they took their time messing with the new fridge on the porch and with things in their truck. They never closed the front doors behind them when they went outside for 10-15 minutes at a time. The house was freezing. I am sure I will curse these guys again when we get our gas bill for this month.

Doodle quotes

2010-01-08T14:21:00.002-05:00

"I want to wear my crown to H's birthday party that way it will be like my birthday party except it will be H's."

D: "How many days until my birthday?"
Me: "I don't know, like 80."
pause
D: "So that means that tomorrow there will be (pause) 79 days until my birthday."

(I don't think he realizes how long 80 days is. He's been asking about his birthday since the new year began!)

"They better take down that manger because Jesus' birthday is over."

amendment to "new discovery"

2010-01-07T20:11:00.003-05:00

It turns out you shouldn't vent your gas dryer into your house. Apparently the build up of residue and fumes can be toxic from a gas dryer. I found this out at the hardware store where someone who used to be a contractor told me not to buy the lint trap with water. Consider yourself warned.

physical therapy

2010-01-06T09:31:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was Pancake's nine month pediatrician appointment. She is on track with everything except her gross motor skills. She still shows little signs of wanting to crawl, bears her own weight for only a few seconds at a time (with me steadying her of course), and resists rolling over. I didn't think it was a big deal that she doesn't really roll over because I know she can, but I guess the fact that she actually resists me when I try to help her do it is a bigger deal. So now we have to have a city-run service come out to the house so my nine-month old baby can have physical therapy.

It's disturbing to me because I've never had a child that didn't excel at everything. I wonder if there are things I could have been doing with Pancake, things I probably did with Doodle but don't with her because I'm more distracted this time around. Anyway I feel terrible. Like I have not been an attentive parent. Maybe there is nothing I could have done that would make Pancake up to par in the gross motor skill department, but maybe there is. I called Child Link today and left a message. I guess her therapy will start soon.

new discovery

2010-01-04T14:39:00.003-05:00

My brother informed me that we can have the clothes dryer vent into the house in the winter to make the back of our house warmer and not heat the outdoors. It never occurred to me that you can do that. I unhooked the hose from the metal cylinder at the back of the dryer and let her rip. It was great. The back of our house, which is normally the coldest part, was warm and a little humid (which doesn't bother me at all). The windows steamed up, but that was really the only downside. I'm going to buy a grate to attach to the cylinder to catch the lint.

9 months

2010-01-01T11:31:00.002-05:00

Pancake is such a cutie pie. She is very ticklish and quick to laugh even when we're not tickling her. She is imitating more. This morning she was trying to color with a crayon in each hand she was hitting the coloring book with the side of the crayons instead of the tip. She didn't even attempt to put them in her mouth. She saw Doodle coloring and knew what the crayons were for. It was really cute.

When you say, "How big is Pancake?" She, sometimes, puts her hands in the air and smiles while we say "so big." She started clapping right around Christmas. Occasionally she says, "yay" while she claps. She is happier on her belly but still won't stay on it for longer than 10 minutes. With her belly mostly stationary she rotates around in a complete circle to get a glimpse of her brother or grab a toy. She whines if you take a toy or something else away from her that she wants to keep holding or putting in her mouth.

She still loves to eat. Last night for her new year's eve dinner she had a container of sweet potatoes, some homemade peas with oatmeal cereal and then a container of banana yogurt. She would have kept eating if I hadn't cleaned her up and put her on the floor to play. She eats Cheerios and baby puffs like a champ. Her pincher grasp is great. She eats little cubes of tofu that way too. I love that she can eat some things independently now because it keeps her occupied while I do other things. Yesterday she pulled at my shirt and said, "eh, eh?" because she wanted to nurse.

She bops her little body up and down, while seated, to any kind of music, even when Doodle bangs on the piano. She can scoot around on her butt if she's on a slick floor like the hard wood in our dining room. But she prefers not to be mobile.

The combination of her enormous appetite and her disinterest in moving is making for a nice chubby baby. I'm anxious to see what she weighs at her nine month appointment next week.

She still doesn't sleep through the night. We had her almost there before Christmas but having numerous house guests over Christmas has ruined our progress. Last night she woke up at 2:20 a.m. and again at 5:40 a.m. Then up for the day at 7:30 a.m. My goal for this week is to get her back on schedule and waking up only once. Next week we'll aim for through-the-night sleeping.

Pancake, you're a little sweetheart. I love you so much.

It's snowing! a lot!

2009-12-19T14:12:00.003-05:00

We are having a major storm here in the mid-Atlantic states. It's so great to have some real accumulation especially right before Christmas. We went outside to play in it this morning. Here are some pictures. Pancake LOVED it. Doodle did too, but it wasn't such a novelty for our seasoned little boy.

little progress

2009-12-15T09:14:00.002-05:00

The most simple of tasks seem to take forever with two kids to care for. Yesterday my only goal was to send two boxes of gifts to DC. One family's gifts were already wrapped and in the box. The others still had to be wrapped and packaged. Between Pancake's two morning naps (she's not feeling well AGAIN), breakfast for the three of us, Doodle's requests to play various games with him, my shower, lunch for we three, and Doodle's desire to "help" with the wrapping, it took me until 1:00 to get the boxes post office ready. Because the boxes were so big I drove down to the post office and filled up the gas tank on my way. Then we walked along Main Street and bought another Christmas gift. The gas station, post office and one store made up our big outing for the day.

Since Doodle started school I haven't seen that much of my friends and their kids. It's kind of depressing. I think it's a combination of everyone's kids in school now and occasional conflicting schedules and the non-stop illnesses that keep invading our household. We aren't going out much. It's going to be a long winter.

Day trip to Long Island

2009-12-07T19:36:00.003-05:00

The kids and I took a day trip to Long Island today to see my aunt and cousin who haven't met Pancake or seen Doodle in a long time. We had a bit of traffic on the Belt Parkway (the worst road ever) on the way there but none coming home. We went to the library where my aunt works and met her friends. They were great entertaining Doodle and acting appropriately impressed by his ability to write all 26 of the letters. Then we went out to lunch where both kids were very well behaved (even more noteworthy is that they were great in the car too). We headed home soon after lunch and were home in plenty of time to eat dinner with Mr. D. I am grateful that my kids are so damn good.

Here is a great picture from the diner.

pictures of Pancake

2009-12-04T16:03:00.003-05:00

My mother hasn't seen the kids in about a month and asked me to post pictures of Pancake. Here are a few from our photo shoot this morning.

Quote of the day

2009-12-01T13:59:00.002-05:00

Courtesy of Doodle (we were not sitting in the car at the time of this conversation):

Doodle: "When I'm 34 can I ride in the front?"
Me: "The front of what? The car?"
Doodle: "Yes."
Me: "Yes, when you're 34 you'll be able to ride in the front of the car."
D: "With you and daddy? And Pancake can ride in the back."
M: "When you're 34 Pancake will be 31 so she can ride in the front too."
D: "Okay."

I love how he can't even imagine a life that Mr. D and I are not a part of every day, and how he thinks all four of us will ride in the front at the same time.

8 months

2009-11-30T09:31:00.003-05:00

If you read this blog you know that Pancake has been sick for the better part of this month. It is so sad to see a helpless baby so unhappy. She only smiled a handful of times over the course of a few days. She's more smiley now but still not back to herself.

A baby's first year is so full of drastic changes. While adults experience almost no change in themselves in eight months, babies go from squirmy, tiny blobs who aren't very aware of their surroundings to laughing, smiling, cooing babies who imitate and let us know their desires. I'm amazed all over again.

Pancake dances to music now. Whenever she hears any kind of beat she bops her little body up and down while remaining seated. She squeals happily when Doodle plays his guitar or the piano.

She is really starting to imitate us now. If you bang your hand on the table she will do the same. If you wave, she waves back. She imitates some sounds too. She still only has two teeth. She's eating baby puff snacks that dissolve easily and quickly in her mouth. She tried Cheerios the other morning but didn't do quite as well with those.

She whines if her brother takes a toy away from her. She still puts everything in her mouth. She will drink out of a sippy cup if I hold it in her mouth. She loves having her gums and teeth brushed.

She falls asleep in her crib on her own like a champ. I nurse her, rock her and sometimes sing, then I put her down in her crib still awake. She lays there for a minute or two talking and playing, sometimes whining or wimpering. Then she falls asleep. It only takes her 2 to 5 minutes to fall asleep. She's not as good at staying asleep. She was waking up 4 times a night when she had a fever. Now she's down to two. I'm nursing her both times again to keep her hydrated and my immune-boosting milk in her to fight off this dreadful illness. Once she's completely better I'll cut it down to one feeding at night, and then hopefully zero. But by then she'll probably be getting another tooth and I'll have to start all over again!

She's a good, happy, cute baby.

still sick

2009-11-29T13:55:00.002-05:00

All four of us are sick and have been for the past two and a half weeks. Pancake has been to the doctor twice in the last four weeks. She is now on an antibiotic because her fever of 102+ was here for a few days then vanished, then reappeared on Thanksgiving. She's been vomiting at least once a day for the past five days because she has no other way of getting the mucus and junk out of her little body. Under her eyes are red, the rest of her is pale except for the multi-colored snot dried to her nose. Lovely image isn't it? Doodle has been sick with the same thing except he doesn't have a fever. He threw up yesterday because he has been refusing to blow his nose and sucks it in instead -- very annoying!

I had a coughing fit last night that made me convinced that I was going to vomit too. I didn't but I was awake until midnight and then up at 12:55 a.m. to nurse Pancake. Then again at 5:30 a.m. to nurse her again. Mr. D was up with her then too, and has been awake ever since. Mr. D has been coughing and generally sick too. I can only hope that we're building our immunity now so we won't be sick again for the rest of the winter. I know, I know it's a pipe dream.

household chores -- a really exciting post

2009-11-21T20:39:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I consistently make my weekend to-do list unrealistically long. I'm always thinking that since Mr. D is home I can do twenty things around the house in one day and I inevitably fall short. Today, I went to a four-year old's birthday party, vacuumed three rooms (and am going to do my bedroom tonight after I finish cleaning the kitchen), made dinner and bought a sound machine (our third one in two years) for Pancake's room. Maybe her brother won't wake her up tonight. And I still didn't get to sanding down the top of the bathroom closet door so the clear shoe holder that hangs over it won't prevent the door from latching.

Tomorrow, after we watch the marathoners and go to center city to have lunch with a friend who's in town I have to go grocery shopping, file away our pile of papers sitting on the printer and do the usual daily tasks of making dinner, bathing children, and preparing for the work week. Fun, fun, fun.

A tribute to The Wire

2009-11-19T20:01:00.003-05:00

I saw this clip on someone else's blog and it made me miss The Wire. I think I'm going to have to watch it from the beginning as soon as we finish In Treatment. HBO puts some kick ass shows on the air.

saddened and hopeful

2009-11-11T15:54:00.002-05:00

My friend J and her husband B have twin girls, E and S. They are 22-months old. I have only had the chance to meet them once soon after they were born. They were premature and spent a significant amount of time in the NICU before they went home. They couldn't be around any other children for the first year of their lives. J and B recently found out that E has brain cancer. She had a tumor the size of a mango removed on Wednesday night (a week ago). She awaits chemotherapy which starts next week.

J and I went to grad school together and became fast friends. Mr. Doodlebug and I got along really well with J and B. It was one of those friendships where all four of us truly enjoyed each others company. I remember one of the last nights we spent as residents of DC Mr. D took me to Sam and Harry's for dinner. It was half price bottle of wine night so we took advantage and got pretty saucy. After we left the restaurant I called J on a whim to see if they had any plans. They didn't so we went over to their place and laughed and talked and probably drank some more, I can't quite remember. But I do remember the fun, happy, light feeling I had that whole night and then how sad I was that we were leaving DC and our friends to move to Philadelphia.

I think about that night now and think that I never would have guessed that four years later J and B would have to endure such tragic upheaval and incredible stress. I know that E's chances of survival aren't great, and I am normally not the most positive person, but I am thinking about E and her parents and sister all the time. And I am wishing that E pulls through this a survivor.

I talked to J the other day and her optimism and grasp of reality were nothing less than heroic. She actually said to me without the slightest twinge of jealousy, "you're just happy that your kids are healthy, right?" I am glad my kids are healthy, but I wish hers was too.

If you want to follow E's progress J created a blog.

sick

2009-11-07T22:06:00.003-05:00

I spent the latter part of my evening cleaning projectile vomit off the rocking chair, rug, floor and stuffed monkey in Pancake's room. Pancake's and my clothing was promptly removed and is currently soaking in the washing machine. I have never seen vomiting of this volume or distance in my life -- and to think it came from a seven month old! I hope it was a result of the phlegm she hasn't been able to spit out or blow out, and not a virus that will lead to more vomiting.

Our other child has a terrible cough and an ear infection. He asked to go to the doctor this morning to get medicine for his ear. Sure enough it is infected. He never had an antibiotic until right before he turned three. Now he's on his third. Being in school sure makes a kid sick!

Fun, fun, fun!

The Phillies

2009-11-05T09:17:00.003-05:00

What a disappointing end to a great season. As I've stated before on this blog I am not a huge professional sports fan, but I have come to love the Phillies as my husband and son do, well not quite as much as Mr. D.

I love the scrappiness and heart of the team. The players seem to be good people who are good at what they do and are dedicated to the fabulous Phillies fans. Their game last night, that ended in a 7 to 3 loss, was aggravating at times (Shane Victorino should have caught that ball; Ryan Howard finally showed up with one home run -- too little too late; Chase Utley who was having a great post season couldn't quite break the record of number of home runs in a World Series, tying Reggie Jackson with five; he didn't show up last night like he could have; Pedro Martinez did not pitch well; and Charlie Manual made some interesting pitching change choices).

So now we wait until April, a time of hope and renewal. I am not, nor will I ever be, an Eagles fan. Mr. D told me last night that if the Eagles win the Superbowl it will make up for the Phillies' losing the World Series. That is not the case for me. Of course, if they do make it to the Superbowl I'll make an Eagles cake and invite our friends over to "watch" the game.

Sorry, Mr. D, that your beloved Phils couldn't pull it out this time. Maybe Charlie will pick out some better pitchers for next season -- I would keep Cliff Lee though.

7 months

2009-11-02T15:20:00.002-05:00

Pancake is such a happy and delightful baby. She is always smiling at people. Whenever we're out and strangers ooh and aah over her she gives them reason to love her with her huge open-mouth smile.

I can sit her down for long periods of time to play, or watch her brother on the potty. She reaches for toys when she's sitting and then pulls herself back up. She can transfer a toy from one hand to the other. She tolerates her brother's abuse with a big grin on her face. It's hard to convince him that what he's doing might be too rough because she's happy just to be in his company no matter his mood.

Her babbling has become more refined. She imitates sounds she hears like HHHIIIIII. My father-in-law swears he heard her say her brother's name. I'm not sure about that, but her cooing is more purposeful now.

She has two teeth (the two bottom front ones) and enjoys teething biscuits. Her teething has caused all of us many sleepless nights. I hope she doesn't get any more for a while. She's gaining weight quickly and has a few rolls on each thigh, they're incredibly cute.

She will play on her back for a while but when I try to give her a little "tummy time" she acts paralyzed and whines to be moved to a more comfortable position. Since I'm more concerned with keeping her happy than ensuring that she crawls she doesn't get much time on her belly. She loves her Exersaucer. She will play in it for up to 45 minutes at a time. She's not a huge fan of the bouncing seat that hangs in the doorway. I still swaddle her before naps and bed time even though she's outgrowing the pre-made swaddlers I have. She sleeps much better so I'm going to continue swaddling.

She recently discovered the xylophone and is thrilled to make such loud sounds. She still puts everything she gets her hands on in her mouth. She also still loves to eat, both breastmilk and solid foods. When I'm feeding her solid food she sits with her mouth open anticipating the next bite. When she finishes her meal she cries that it's all gone, no matter how much she's eaten.

She just started waving. The first time I noticed it it was directed at a cashier at Acme who was waving and talking to her. She held her tiny hand up, palm facing herself, and moved her four fingers up and down. She did it again for me today so I'm pretty sure it was an actual wave.

I love to kiss her slightly pudgy cheeks and around her neck. She squeals with delight when I do that. She also loves to be tickled under her arms. She thinks that's hilarious.She's so squeezable and cuddly and adorable. I love this age.

potty trained

2009-10-29T10:56:00.002-04:00

Since my three and a half update post on October 1st Doodle has made great strides in using the toilet like a big boy. Dare I say he's potty trained! He rarely has accidents and when he does they really are accidents rather than purposefully peeing in his underwear. I still put him in a pull-up for sleep at night (not for naps any more) but it is almost always dry in the morning so I probably don't need them any more. It's just so much easier to change a pull up then change his full size sheets and pajamas in the middle of the night.

First Tooth

2009-10-28T19:10:00.005-04:00

I thought this news deserved its own post. Pancake got her first tooth today. She is the exact same age that Doodle was when his first tooth poked through the gums (October 29, 2006). Pancake and Doodle are incredibly similar babies in so many ways and this coincidence is pretty amazing.

This picture was not taken today, but on our trip to Hilton Head.

Hilton Head

2009-10-28T15:55:00.007-04:00

We were in Hilton Head, SC for a week with Mr. D's parents. We left on the 15th after Mr. D got out of work, sat in traffic for the first four hours of the trip, drove to Rocky Mount, NC where we stayed in a pretty nice motel for $40! and that included breakfast (fresh made waffles, bagels, cereal, juice, coffee and donuts). We drove for another five to six hours the next morning/afternoon before we finally arrived at my in-laws' time share in Hilton Head at 4:00 p.m., just in time for the Phillies playoff game against the Dodgers, which they lost. Not a great way to start our second vacation of the year, but it ended well with the Phillies going to the World Series and a much more pleasant drive home. Before we planned this trip I really had no idea how far south Hilton Head is. It's down there.

While in HH (the initials on the Euro-stickers down there) we biked on the beach and the great bike trails, swam in the heated pool and soaked in the hot tub right outside our building, ate good food and drank good wine (a few fruity tropical drinks too), played tennis and ping pong, and took a day trip to Savannah, Georgia, which is only 20-some miles from HH. The downside was that our family of four slept in one bedroom the size of a small hotel room. Doodle was in the double bed next to ours and Pancake was in a pack-n-play at the food of Doodle's bed. Doodle had a cough which woke me up when I wasn't being woken up by my restless baby girl. I don't know if it was the new surroundings, Doodle's incessant coughing or her teething, but Pancake slept like crap while we were away. Not only did she sleep fitfully but she took FOREVER to fall asleep -- screaming in my arms until she finally passed out.

One morning I slept in -- one, out of seven. Our week away made me appreciate our house where everyone sleeps in their own rooms and there are lots of places to put Pancake down. Overall, though, the vacation was great and there is something to be said for appreciating your daily life.

Since we've been back we carved pumpkins, Doodle went to school, which he really seems to like now, and we went to gymnastics class today where both kids wore their Halloween costumes (Doodle was a firefighter and Pancake was an alligator (same costume as Doodle three years ago)).

A few pictures:

That is the sock that she pulled off laying across her chest. She's in the bike trailer.

Doodle is in a phase where he doesn't like to look at the camera, let alone smile for it, when I'm trying to take his picture. So this is the only close up I have of him from the trip.

birthday highlights

2009-10-13T14:18:00.003-04:00

For my birthday (yesterday) Mr. D gave me a new digital camera, a bottle of wine and some dark chocolate candy. Doodle made me a beautiful card with watercolors and pen. The inside said HELLO MOMMY and the back said LOVE DOODLE (except it was his real name). My friend brought over a delicious vegetable stromboli from our local pizza place and we ate and drank wine and had birthday cake. The kids played and mostly stayed out of our hair. After they left I swept and mopped the kitchen floor and folded two loads of laundry while watching a portion of the previous night's Phillies play off game (they won that game and again last night!). Mr. D came home from work about 10 minutes early, which doesn't seem like a big deal, but it made a huge difference in terms of how much I could get done without children hanging on me. We fed the children and put them to bed. Our wonderfully generous neighbor came over and watched them (and the Phillies game) while we went out to dinner.

Here are a few pictures from the new camera: